Losing my desire to play - what is happening?

[jackshit]

After over 20 years of anal play, I noticed I'm losing interest and not getting off from it anymore.

Before I would get super horny even thinking about a new toy or a new way to play. Many toys were inaccessible to me for various reason and I really wished I had them all. I'd come up with ideas with fruits, objects and would orgasm really hard whenever I played with my ass. I slowly worked my stretch as well to about 10cm limited by my bones.

But now, after all these years I'm getting less and less pleasure from it - especially in the past 6 months. I do still feel aroused by women, my wanking and sexual performance with women are still normal, it's just my anal play that doesn't feel as good as before.

I routinely play with my ass, but half of the time I don't even cum anymore. At this point in my life I have a place to play and almost all the dildos and plugs I could want, but ironically my body doesn't really want to. Quite often I just get an urge to crap the toy out instead. 

I got fisted recently by a woman with large hands and it was nowhere near as good as before, I did finish because she sucked me off too but the fisting wasn't feeling nearly as intense as before. I told her to get 2 hands and she was literally ramming the second hand as hard as she could, it didn't go in due to my bone limitation but I wasn't feeling any pain either. A couple years ago I'd be in heaven with just one hand.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Is there a fix to make it pleasurable like before?

[yesplease]

take a break and get back to when your desire returns.   Nothing strange about this.   Doesn't matter if you like fishing, cycling, jigsaw puzzles, fisting, or golf... sometimes you just naturally lose the intense motivation.   It's the natural order of things.   You might come back to it with the same desire as you've had, or you may not.   Not worth stressing about. 

 

[imsnowman72]

Great answer, 'yesplease".

[Darthvin]

If you haven't already why not try electro stim. Or as previously said jist take a break. Everyone has ups and downs. But if the desire doesn't come back its not the end of the world! 

[FistBi]

Sometimes interest is lost when there is no progress, you have to look for new things, new toys, new goals, new activities ...

[cranappletool]

If you havent already figured it out learn how to have multiple orgasms in a row. I mean specifically the non-ejaculatory ones that only happen in your brain. The process of learning how to train your mind and body to do that will get your sex drive way up and then after that move back to ass play. You might just need a new challenge.

Edited November 17, 2021 by cranappletool

[elirian]

I had a similar experience a few months ago - I don't get opportunities to play very often these days, but last month I had about a week with the house to myself. I was really looking forward to spending some time stretching my hole, but all the times I tried I couldn't get into it like I previously had. Usually I don't have much trouble working my way back up to a fist after long breaks, but this time I just felt overly sensitive and uncomfortable a lot of the time.

[spaceslug]

You might find different orgasms or new challenges help, but the one thing I think is pretty common amongst most people who lose interest in something they're  passionate about is that having expectations that put pressure on yourself to enjoy it won't help, it could make it worse.  Usually taking a break can bring something back, but it's hard when you don't want to lose progress. Maybe shifting thinking about playing as a sexual activity to maybe something that you do a bit here and there to relax might take some pressure off and you'll find your enjoyment again.

 

And what things are to us do shift and that's alright. My play used to be 100% horn dog all the time. Now I find a third the time I play I feel like that, and the rest is just a chill activity where I sit back, take it easy, and enjoy something deep in my guts

[jackshit]

Thanks for all replies, I've been recently just wanking and it feels fine - I get horny and cum normally, it's pleasant but not nearly as intense as anal play.

I love the suggestion to try new toys and reach new goals but I think width wise I already reached my bone limits, my sphincter could easily do more but I simply can't go any wider because of my sit and tail bones. 

Anyway it's been now about 20 days, I'll soon try again and see how it feels.

[AzFrNick]

I have gone through periods myself.

Either I hop on a dildo huffing poppers every night or I stay away from any toy and butt play, even porn, and this for 2, 3 weeks.

 

[Radeon]

i also have this problem so i tried to quit smoking or alcohol, only after 3 days i get horny again. yes quit smoking give me so much benefit, so much energy, muscle pumping in gym, all are back on track, 

[analfrk]

This may be a combination of things.  One, it’s common to cause anal nerve damage.  This happens when we forcibly stretch the home w/out giving it time to adjust.  I have some of this.  2”two, you sound like you are desensitizing to the behavior. This too is somewhat common.  Take a break for 90 days, let it rest in your brain and then come back to it.  The nerve damage is pretty permanent.  Not much u can do there. 

[stretchedout]

On 12/17/2021 at 9:24 AM, analfrk said:

This may be a combination of things.  One, it’s common to cause anal nerve damage.  This happens when we forcibly stretch the home w/out giving it time to adjust.  I have some of this.  2”two, you sound like you are desensitizing to the behavior. This too is somewhat common.  Take a break for 90 days, let it rest in your brain and then come back to it.  The nerve damage is pretty permanent.  Not much u can do there. 

Yeah, I was going to suggest possible nerve damage from overdoing it.   I've nearly completely lost the urge for (about 1 year now) after an accident with a large electro plug being pulled out in a panic.  It's a real shame. It is still possible to play and do the usual stuff but it's not anywhere as exciting and arousing as before. Also, you can lose a little of the control over when you want to take a shit etc - very annoying.

I was hoping it would improve, but I would say I only have 5-15% of what I had, and it has not got much better over the year.

[Upthebutt]

10 hours ago, stretchedout said:

Yeah, I was going to suggest possible nerve damage from overdoing it.   I've nearly completely lost the urge for (about 1 year now) after an accident with a large electro plug being pulled out in a panic.  It's a real shame. It is still possible to play and do the usual stuff but it's not anywhere as exciting and arousing as before. Also, you can lose a little of the control over when you want to take a shit etc - very annoying.

I was hoping it would improve, but I would say I only have 5-15% of what I had, and it has not got much better over the year.

 

If its causing you problems, maybe speak with a doctor. There are options to fix your hole up.

[analfrk]

This is a good idea...seeing your doc. I would be honest w/him/her, and let them know your kink, and pay attention to their advice.  I think silicone toys are best as they are the most forgiving.  If you give yourself some mental time, the psychological arousal aspect does not need to be diminished.  Avoid any porn for a couple of months.