Fisting: bones in the way

[working4ev]

Hi,

My husband and I are attempting to engage in fisting, but it always seems that the inside of my hip bones, and my pelvic bones are in the way. I can deal with the stretching of the skin, but when his hand pushes against my bones, it hurts in a way that I can't really ignore. Anyone have any tips? I guess, anything that will make this less (positions, whatever), would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

[prolaptotron]

bones is ALWAYS in the way.

[working4ev]

are you saying with 176 views, there are no members with fisting tips?
well we were hoping for some help but it is ok, i guess.
it's working slowly, but surely... emphasis on the slowly, though.

thanks for any help you can give
love the site Edited October 3, 2007 by david

[anuspainus]

well, you may not want to hear this, but...

everyone is built differently. and even though a lot of what you may see other people do is from lots of practice, some of it isn't. some of what they can do is just because they happen to be built in a way that naturally enables them to do it.

take depth play, for instance. some people can take an anal toy very deeply because they don't have a very acute angle leading into the sigmoid colon. its kind of a straight shot, so to speak. other people, such as myself, can try all day long and it will never happen because the angle is just too great. can't negotiate that curve.

as far as the pelvic bones go, it's exactly the same thing. i think that's where the term "child bearing hips" comes from. i guess the important thing is, DON'T force it, and never try it while using any kind of drugs or alcohol, because, as i'm sure you know, you could really hurt yourself. and i mean, like, "doctor, i don't know why my vagina is laying on the floor" kind of hurt yourself.

hope this helps.

[bigdil]

What position are you using? How large a plug or dildo are you able to take? What sort of lube are you using?

[WideOpen1960]

Hi,

My husband and I are attempting to engage in fisting, but it always seems that the inside of my hip bones, and my pelvic bones are in the way. I can deal with the stretching of the skin, but when his hand pushes against my bones, it hurts in a way that I can't really ignore. Anyone have any tips? I guess, anything that will make this less (positions, whatever), would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

Do you have children and if so, were they delivered vaginally? In that case, there must be a way out, and therefore also a way into, your pelvis. A true bony obstruction is very unusual so I think it is a matter of finding the way around it. You may try the chopstick trick to find the way, adding small objects that will go in in the right angle/position automatically. Hope this will help you! Edited October 14, 2007 by WideOpen1960

[working4ev]

Could anyone tell me how to avoid anything bad happening? I know there can be problems from vaginal stretching, but I don't really know what they are, and I don't know how to avoid them. I heard something about the insides falling out, or something along those lines... what happens, and why does it happen? Also, is it bad to wait till the pain fades, and then keep going further? Or do we need to stop as soon as it starts hurting?

well, you may not want to hear this, but...

everyone is built differently. and even though a lot of what you may see other people do is from lots of practice, some of it isn't. some of what they can do is just because they happen to be built in a way that naturally enables them to do it.

take depth play, for instance. some people can take an anal toy very deeply because they don't have a very acute angle leading into the sigmoid colon. its kind of a straight shot, so to speak. other people, such as myself, can try all day long and it will never happen because the angle is just too great. can't negotiate that curve.

as far as the pelvic bones go, it's exactly the same thing. i think that's where the term "child bearing hips" comes from. i guess the important thing is, DON'T force it, and never try it while using any kind of drugs or alcohol, because, as i'm sure you know, you could really hurt yourself. and i mean, like, "doctor, i don't know why my vagina is laying on the floor" kind of hurt yourself.

hope this helps.

We don't force it, and David always stops when I say to. I do tend to drink a bit before we start playing, though, because it helps me to relax a LOT more... otherwise I get all nervous and so my body is tensed up. David doesn't usually drink beforehand though, so I don't have to worry about him being too rough or anything from being drunk.

What position are you using? How large a plug or dildo are you able to take? What sort of lube are you using?

I am laying on my back with a pillow under my butt. We only have one dildo that we've bought... usually David just uses his hand/fingers. He was actually just able to get his whole hand in last night for the first time! It kinda hurt (not too horribly, but nonetheless, it did hurt), so he didn't hold it there for long. Just so you know though, the dildo is about 7" around (3" in diameter), with the crown of the head being about 1/2" larger in diameter. Last night we were able to get the the head in as well as probably 2-3" past that, it was the first time it's ever gone that far. As for the lube, we use Wet Platinum... we tried a few different ones, and this is by FAR the best we've tried.

Do you have children and if so, were they delivered vaginally? In that case, there must be a way out, and therefore also a way into, your pelvis. A true bony obstruction is very unusual so I think it is a matter of finding the way around it. You may try the chopstick trick to find the way, adding small objects that will go in in the right angle/position automatically. Hope this will help you!

Nope, I've never had kids, so no vaginal delivery, obviously. It's not that there is a bony obstruction, it's just that it always feels like its hard to get in... but since we were finally able to get past that last night, I guess it's all good.

[minx]

Sorry I missed this, thought it was a guy thing which I'm obviously no help with!

Have you tried doggy for it? You can then move your pelvis until you find the right position?

As for the dangers if you're careful and don't do stupid things then I haven't come across any so don't worry about it.

Can I just ask why you're nervous about it if you don't drink?

[kashegurl]

Sorry I missed this, thought it was a guy thing which I'm obviously no help with!

Have you tried doggy for it? You can then move your pelvis until you find the right position?

As for the dangers if you're careful and don't do stupid things then I haven't come across any so don't worry about it.

Can I just ask why you're nervous about it if you don't drink?

This is the OP, I just made my own account.

Well, I do drink, because if I don't, I get nervous and so I can't relax my muscles completely. I don't drink enough to make me take stupid risks, just enough to relax me. My husband, however, doesn't drink much, and so I don't have to worry about him being overly rough or anything. I get nervous some because I am doing this for him, not for myself, and so I don't know much about it. We are actually doing pretty well, and I'm starting to get more into it for me (lol, it's starting to feel good!), and he actually got his whole fist in last night! I usually lay on my back with my butt up on a pillow and my legs spread really wide. The problem with doggy style is that part of what relaxes me is talking to him, and in the doggy style position, I can't see him, so talking isn't as good. Thank you so much for your reply, Minx, I really really appreciate it.

Thanks,
Katie

[bsurf0000]

This is the OP, I just made my own account.

Well, I do drink, because if I don't, I get nervous and so I can't relax my muscles completely. I don't drink enough to make me take stupid risks, just enough to relax me. My husband, however, doesn't drink much, and so I don't have to worry about him being overly rough or anything. I get nervous some because I am doing this for him, not for myself, and so I don't know much about it. We are actually doing pretty well, and I'm starting to get more into it for me (lol, it's starting to feel good!), and he actually got his whole fist in last night! I usually lay on my back with my butt up on a pillow and my legs spread really wide. The problem with doggy style is that part of what relaxes me is talking to him, and in the doggy style position, I can't see him, so talking isn't as good. Thank you so much for your reply, Minx, I really really appreciate it.

Thanks,
Katie

Hello Katie , I have had this happen with an mature woman I was dating , the problem we had even though she had had a child was her pelvic girdle was to small so I could never get my hand passed through her pelvic opening , but with another GF I used rapid breathing like they do in lamaze class and it slipped right in up to the wrist. it took about 20 min of continious deep rapid breathing (before and during), and she became somewhat nervous , because this causes an intense euphoria, but be warned that this method puts you at some risk for injury since you might not be aware of any acute discomfort or pain. in closing with the other lady I was never able to fist her to completion even with repeated efforts , she was just to small. as for the pain you should be very careful so as not to cause a fistula ,( a taring between the wall of the vagina and anus) or to cause any other damage since these can be difficult to repair surgically. one last option is to try a rubber fist , which can be bought at an adult store or a woman(top) with much smaller hand

[kashegurl]

Thanks so much for your response, bsurf! I think my problem was that I was impatient, because we've been doing it every few nights for about 2 months now, and about a week ago he was finally able to get his whole hand in. It's not exactly comfortable, yet, but it's getting better. I think I just didn't realize it was going to take so much time, that's all. How easy is it for that fistula thing to occur? That really scares me, now that I know it's a possibility... is it possible to avoid it by just going slow and david not making a point of pushing down on that barrier?.

Thanks again,
Katie

[minx]

Honestly if you're going slowly its VERY unlikely to happen. Don't start worrying about stuff like this because you'll only get more tense and then make it more likely (if anything was likely!).

I've been into fisting for ages and I haven't always had considerate partners and apart from the odd bit of bruising and maybe a very rare tiny cut from fingernails I've never had a problem certainly nothing permanent.

How big a build are you? I think hip size must make a difference. Touching on bones does hurt but the more you do it the easier it gets and the more you get to read each other on this.

Keep going, relax, use loads of lube and take it gently. It does feel good and when you relax it will feel much better.

[kashegurl]

Honestly if you're going slowly its VERY unlikely to happen. Don't start worrying about stuff like this because you'll only get more tense and then make it more likely (if anything was likely!).

I've been into fisting for ages and I haven't always had considerate partners and apart from the odd bit of bruising and maybe a very rare tiny cut from fingernails I've never had a problem certainly nothing permanent.

How big a build are you? I think hip size must make a difference. Touching on bones does hurt but the more you do it the easier it gets and the more you get to read each other on this.

Keep going, relax, use loads of lube and take it gently. It does feel good and when you relax it will feel much better.

Ya, we definitely go slow, and if I tell him to stop (either just for a second, or for the night) he does. I am not exactly thin, but I'm not huge... I have pretty wide hips though ("child bearing hips?"). The bone thing... I have realized that if I can get through this one little spot where the bones seem to narrow a tad (it hurts, but not in an OMG STOP kinda way, just like... I can feel it stretching a bit), then it just stops hurting all of a sudden! We do use lots of lube, and I understand what you mean, because it is starting to feel a bit good sometimes. Thanks so much for all of your help, I really appreciate it =)

Katie

[anllover]

sorry i have no input on your problem but i must say i LOVE your sig pic about marriage

[gninori]

sorry i have no input on your problem but i must say i LOVE your sig pic about marriage

yes, i noticed, a good one. maybe too politic according to some female troll