kashegurl

Hi... my husband and I have been involved in fisting for a while now, but we just recently realized that we are somewhat interested in BSDM type activities as well. Unfortunately, neither of us have any experience in that sort of activity, besides what we do together, so we are wondering if any of you have any suggestions on how to go about finding others in our area, and/or a BSDM club in our area, who we can interact with and learn from. We are a good match, because he is very dom and i am very sub, but neither of us really know what we are doing... and we want to learn more! Anyway, my question is this: do any of you have any suggestions on how to go about finding out about the BSDM scene in our area? In case anyone is wondering, we are in the San Francisco area, in California. So ya, if anyone can help, please let me know! Thanks!

QUOTE(Minx @ Oct 28 2007, 04:09 PM) [snapback]61086[/snapback] Honestly if you're going slowly its VERY unlikely to happen. Don't start worrying about stuff like this because you'll only get more tense and then make it more likely (if anything was likely!). I've been into fisting for ages and I haven't always had considerate partners and apart from the odd bit of bruising and maybe a very rare tiny cut from fingernails I've never had a problem certainly nothing permanent. How big a build are you? I think hip size must make a difference. Touching on bones does hurt but the more you do it the easier it gets and the more you get to read each other on this. Keep going, relax, use loads of lube and take it gently. It does feel good and when you relax it will feel much better. Ya, we definitely go slow, and if I tell him to stop (either just for a second, or for the night) he does. I am not exactly thin, but I'm not huge... I have pretty wide hips though ("child bearing hips?"). The bone thing... I have realized that if I can get through this one little spot where the bones seem to narrow a tad (it hurts, but not in an OMG STOP kinda way, just like... I can feel it stretching a bit), then it just stops hurting all of a sudden! We do use lots of lube, and I understand what you mean, because it is starting to feel a bit good sometimes. Thanks so much for all of your help, I really appreciate it =) Katie

Thanks so much for your response, bsurf! I think my problem was that I was impatient, because we've been doing it every few nights for about 2 months now, and about a week ago he was finally able to get his whole hand in. It's not exactly comfortable, yet, but it's getting better. I think I just didn't realize it was going to take so much time, that's all. How easy is it for that fistula thing to occur? That really scares me, now that I know it's a possibility... is it possible to avoid it by just going slow and david not making a point of pushing down on that barrier?. Thanks again, Katie

QUOTE(Minx @ Oct 27 2007, 06:21 PM) [snapback]60880[/snapback] Sorry I missed this, thought it was a guy thing which I'm obviously no help with! Have you tried doggy for it? You can then move your pelvis until you find the right position? As for the dangers if you're careful and don't do stupid things then I haven't come across any so don't worry about it. Can I just ask why you're nervous about it if you don't drink? This is the OP, I just made my own account. Well, I do drink, because if I don't, I get nervous and so I can't relax my muscles completely. I don't drink enough to make me take stupid risks, just enough to relax me. My husband, however, doesn't drink much, and so I don't have to worry about him being overly rough or anything. I get nervous some because I am doing this for him, not for myself, and so I don't know much about it. We are actually doing pretty well, and I'm starting to get more into it for me (lol, it's starting to feel good!), and he actually got his whole fist in last night! I usually lay on my back with my butt up on a pillow and my legs spread really wide. The problem with doggy style is that part of what relaxes me is talking to him, and in the doggy style position, I can't see him, so talking isn't as good. Thank you so much for your reply, Minx, I really really appreciate it. Thanks, Katie

Hi, I'm the person who posted before, under the name David. I finally decided to make my own account. I just want to appolagize about what I said... I was kinda in a grumpy mood, so you guys got some of the brunt of it =P. Thanks for your response though, CB, I appreciate it! <3 Katie