Significant other + anal activities POLL!

[ultradude]

I know alot of the members here are guys. Many of which probably have girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/etc. I was just wondering - how many of you practice anal stuff alone? Does your significant other know of your activities, and if so do they know the full extent of your activities? Are they involved or not and to what extent?

I would also like to hear what people have to say about their spouse's enthusiasm for this fetish... are they disgusted or turned off by it, do they only do it because you want them to, or do they love it and want to do it to/for you?

Personally, my girlfriend knows about all my anal exploits. She knows intimately about my collection of toys and that I use them to sit on and stretch while wanking etc. She knows I can fist myself. She almost never is involved with these activities as I usually do them alone in the shower... occasionally she will stroke me off while I sit on a mega plug or something similar, usually just becuase she doesn't like me having a separate sex life and wants to be involved.

She does, however, fist me when I ask her to. She does it only really because she knows I get off on it, she isn't disgusted by it (so she says) but she also doesn't enjoy doing it (aside from liking to see me have fun) and she never suggests it or brings it up or initiates it.

I guess it's all personal opinoin/choice. How do you other guys fare in this department?!

[curiousboy]

My GF (we live together, more or less, since 10 yrs) does not know I play with my ass sometimes, she might have a slight clue but she does not even wanna know better...she is for regular sex only and not fantasizing about any "abnormalities"; even if with her pussy she lets me do, and enjoys, what I want. She loves (and I do) her g-spot and pisses/squirts like a fountain when I fist her, but NO anal sex...

My sweetie (my 19 yr old lover) is too young and I am not thinking about my ass when I fuck hers.

As I said before, here somewhere on the board, I would love to try to combine all my sex directions and fetishes in one single female being. Or maybe better having a few smaller worlds as 1 big one? Perhaps, my friend, perhaps...

Hugs,

cb

[spazbot]

Same boat as you Ultradude. she knows, has since we met, she's a BBW < has some insecurity problems. I too, initiate all my play in the shower.truthis, once warm water hits my backside, I'm like a grack-head that just got his first hit. I just loose myself in there,bloody good we don't pat for water
anyways the two times we played with her bum seriouslt , she ws hurt/sore & just doesn't dare for it anal at all. We did how ever once play what I call Mirror/rorriM
I seen a scene where two womens fist eash other anally semi-69 position.rules.. LOL just like playin in a Mirror...
anyways, I might make a new toy a week she's seen 3 of as many months work.....
I wanted to start a poll vut am not sure how to ?
How many of our friends here @ RBB are what they themselves might be termed "addicts/alchoholics, or with an addictive" behavior.
I myself, AM> no doubt about it . I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it so a little got more & more ...

[gershi]

my wife does know all about my anal addiction (also about this board) but it´s not her cup of tea. it´s ok for me as long as she let´s me play on my own

[ultradude]

Wow, already it seems that there are a fair few whose partners are just not into it.
Curiousboy - is this why you have a lover (or more?) on top of your main partner? At least you get to fist one of her holes! But the no ass thing - is this why you have a 19 yo on the side?!

I mean, if one of a couple likes certain stuff but the other doesn't, or likes completely different stuff.... where does that leave them? I guess being sexually incompatible - AND having a partner who is not interested in sharing your desires kind of sucks don't it? Is this the root of much cheating that goes on?

Spazbot, I'll make a poll for you on that topic OK?
Did you mean to say that you did a 69/fist with your chick? That'd be awesome!

[gershi]

Wow, already it seems that there are a fair few whose partners are just not into it.
Curiousboy - is this why you have a lover (or more?) on top of your main partner? At least you get to fist one of her holes! But the no ass thing - is this why you have a 19 yo on the side?!

I mean, if one of a couple likes certain stuff but the other doesn't, or likes completely different stuff.... where does that leave them? I guess being sexually incompatible - AND having a partner who is not interested in sharing your desires kind of sucks don't it? Is this the root of much cheating that goes on?

yes, i think sexual incompatability is one of the major roots for cheating - but that´s just a neutral statement.

my wife and i are sexual incompatible in quite a few ways. i´m very into stretching - she is not. i like cumplay - she doesn´t. i would like her to deepthroat me - she can´t (so far). i like anal - she has tried once but didn´t find it appealing.

but does that lead me automatically to cheat on her? no, at least not for me. for both of us the classic values of trust and loyalty are very important. actually they are a strong fundament of our relation. so it would be either live with it or leave her for another woman. and then: if i would leave her for another woman who is more sexual compatible, would this be better? yes, i would have a girl that would deepthroat my dick after i assfucked her and swallow every drop of my cum, then spit it on my ass and fist me with my cum as lube but would i be happier? i guess not. would she be such a good partner at everything outside sex? would she be such a good mother for my kids? would she be such a cuddling maniac? would she be such a relaxed personality?

love is not only based on sex - yes, it´s a part of it, but not the only part. Edited August 14, 2007 by gershi

[Tangerine]

I'm just a beginner in my own ass play but very skilled for years on my former and present GF on asshole training. Just try a 4 fingers plays with poppers and love it huhuuu. Hope to play more.
And for my part I need a partner annaly and sub oriented 'cos I'm too addicted to prefectly fall in love with someone not in my sex games. (^ ^)

[analease]

I do to him what he does to me

We love to explore all nooks and crannies on and in each other.

He comes on here and reads and looks at stuff too.

Just so glad that i found a sexually compatible partner. No need to have affairs anymore

I am with Tang on this one. I couldn't possibly have a partner that didn't indulge in my addictions.....poppers and all!!!!! Edited August 14, 2007 by analease

[gershi]

let me clarify what i said. surely i couldn´t live with a person with who the sex is not satisfying enough. with a person you want to share your life with should give you 100% satisfaction. but satisfaction is made out of several things.

sex - yes, surely. but also the way the other one looks at you. the way he treats you in normal life with respect. if he is a good partner for conversation. the way he kisses you. and so on and on.

some things are more important than others. that´s very personal and also changes for everyone from time to time or from personal evolution. like 10 years ago sex was much more important to me like in when i couldn´t get what i wanted i was unsatisfied. now my priorities have altered compared to that time. sex is still important and a big part of our happiness but other things like e.g. our kids´ luck make a much bigger difference

[minx]

Where do I begin? I probably shouldn't as I need to go to bed but I can't resist this question.

It's taken me a long time, and I've been round and round in circles on the subject and no doubt when my sex drive returns I'll start getting the need again, but for the moment I'm agreeing with Gershi.

Sex is important, but it isn't everything. I ultimately knew that whilst I wasn't ever head over heels in love with my husband he was still the one I wanted to marry. The sex has been good, and it's been amazing, but mostly its pretty boring and very vanilla, but he adores me. We laugh together, we cuddle, we can discuss pretty much anything under the sun. When I wanted to sleep with other men we discussed it and hence an open marriage. He is absolutely my best friend and he's the one I want when anything goes right or wrong. He's had a huge impact on my life and he gives me some much needed security and stability.

He also knows me far better than I tend to give him credit for. He knows when to challenge me and when to leave things to blow over. When I've become addicted to other men (which is all it is) he waits for it to blow over. And I love him for it. We're absolute opposites in almost every way. I generally couldn't care less about most things and am really laid back and pick my battles, whereas he does get worked up over what I consider to be silly stuff. But it works. And I know he'll be a great daddy.

I'll speak in present terms re the sex as its just easier - he knows my kinks although I'm not sure of the extent of that knowledge. After 4 years together he finally fisted me but thats been about it. Occasionally we might have anal sex but that's pretty rare. But thats when the open marriage bit worked as I got my buzz elsewhere. He got to play with whoever he wanted and we came home to each other.

I don't think sex is the be all and end all. Certainly as a woman it was hard when he turned me down every night for 6 weeks at one point, but I think I've finally accepted we just have vastly different sex drives. Or did, pregnancy did wonderful things for mine and it's been bliss not to be driven by it.

Erm this probably doesn't make any sense but hopefully you'll get the drift.

[ultradude]

Gershi - I understand exactly where you're coming from. You can't have everything and you can't be driven by one thing.

Minx - I don't think I could handle the kind of open relatinoship you describe, personally. It's great it works for you, though. But does your husband know about all the things you like and want? is he just not interested or what?

These results are a little weird. Maybe we just need more participants but it seems that there are two spikes - one where the partner knows a little bit about it but it's involved, and one where the partner is involved in it all..

So those people whose partners know a little but not the full extent, and maybe participate very little or not at all: please tell us more about your story! I am interested in the reasons why partners know and yet don't want to join in. Is it because it doesn't turn them on, do they think you're weird? what's the dealio?!

[curiousboy]

Let`s say one thing: It is easier not to cheat, even if you partner does not fullfill all of your sexual tendencies, if you have this little "hobby" to play with yourself. In fact you are cheating your partner but not with someone else!
Right, gershi?

Hugs, brothers,

cb

[Tangerine]

Lol Curious boy ! You're right , not cheating save energy ! (^ ^)

[kevmullin]

my wife has fisted me a couple of times but she has now told me it isnt for her and she wont do it anymore but she has said im allowed to play with other people as long as thats all it is but for some reason its hard to find a woman who likes to fist men.

[utherpendragon]

Some girls do some girls don't. My only anal inclination is to fuck my woman in as many ways as possible, which includes anal sex. Most like their anuses being fingered or licked lightly, a few like being fingered in their anus while fucking or being dildoed, one in ten would allow you to fuck her anally because she wants to please you and then there is the one in a hundred who actually likes to be sodomised. Its always good to know such an anal addict even though you are seriously involved with a woman with more conventional tastes.

[ultradude]

I see alot of people talking about their partners being down with letting them go off to find somebody else to satisfy their bum-lust.

What is with this? Are they so turned off by it that they will delegate the task to somebody else? I find it a little bit odd that somebody would prefer to let their partner have other partners, than to just be involved in what their partner likes!

Am I the odd one out?

[fulofist]

Once my wife would allow me to fuck her ass. Then it stoped (for years) and she was not interested. Two months ago she decided to try again. I'm 50 years young and I can't keep up. No I do not need any help. Just interesting she should become so into again. Past two weeks everynight I've come in her ass. She talks dirty now. I asked her why the change, she said that she realize she is not getting younger and wants to enjoy herself before the feeling is gone. She says why cheat when all she needs to do is enjoy herself with me. I'm not complaining, just exhausted.

I played with my ass a few times but it just didn't do it for me. I like to be the player not the playee.

[ultradude]

Once my wife would allow me to fuck her ass. Then it stoped (for years) and she was not interested.

What can you say? People are strange! I know I would cop alot of flack for saying this, but people change their minds sometimes on a whim - women are especially fickle I find.

I played with my ass a few times but it just didn't do it for me. I like to be the player not the playee.

Because of psychological barriers etc, even those adventurous enough to give it a go usually will not enjoy it for the first few times. This is usually a mental thing and passes after time, some people take longer than others to open up and start to enjoy themselves.

Just think - if every woman who tried vaginal intercourse a couple of times and then gave up "because they didn't like it".... how many unhappy people there would be!!! (and how many women loved getting fucked the first few times it happened? My guess/experience is that most find it uncomfortable, unenjoyable, even painful.)

[gershi]

Let`s say one thing: It is easier not to cheat, even if you partner does not fullfill all of your sexual tendencies, if you have this little "hobby" to play with yourself. In fact you are cheating your partner but not with someone else!
Right, gershi?

Hugs, brothers,

cb

no, not right, cb it´s correct that i play with myself. but my wife knows about it. she knows that i masturbate quite often and she knows exactly when i use my toys. she also knows about my porn collection on my pc, she knows about this board and also some other sites. so this is no cheating, right? if i would do this in private without letting her know - then it would be kind of cheating.

she´s just not so much into porn and sex as i am. and i think she has a quite normal level of sex activity while my level is surely higher than the standard sex drive.

[ultradude]

There seems to be a trend emerging - your partner is either pretty much all for it or all against it! Who'da thunk it?!

[curiousboy]

no, not right, cb it´s correct that i play with myself. but my wife knows about it. she knows that i masturbate quite often and she knows exactly when i use my toys. she also knows about my porn collection on my pc, she knows about this board and also some other sites. so this is no cheating, right? if i would do this in private without letting her know - then it would be kind of cheating.

she´s just not so much into porn and sex as i am. and i think she has a quite normal level of sex activity while my level is surely higher than the standard sex drive.

Well, gershi, my friend, I did`nt mean "cheating" like betraying or doing someth she does not know about...but "having sex with someone else than your wife". You got a perfect relationship because you can diversify without cheating!
Hugs to you, my wise buddy,

cb

[gninori]

diversify without cheating!

that could be the motto for many people here!

[minx]

OK...quickly cos the baby is screaming.

The open marriage is the thing that basically saved my marriage. It's now closed and we'll see how we get on.

No he isn't interested in kink, we've tried, he knows what I'm into and he isn't. It's that simple. His sex drive historically is also significantly lower than mine.

Yes I've cheated as well as seen partners he's known about. He doesn't/didn't get tht sex was a major drive for me and I got to the point where I couldn't think straight without it. It might be wrong but I didn't feel guilty at the time.

Re anal sex, I went through a phase of only wanting that but then it switched back again and I wasn't that interested. Unfortunately when guys find out who do genuinely enjoy it then thats all they want, which gets annoying to say the least.

And FYI I loved sex the very first time. Not sure whether it was a complement or not when he asked me if I was sure it was my first time!

[anllover]

cheating is only cheating when there are LIES and DECEIT. if your parnter is knowledgable and ISNT trying/wanting you to stop then you are legit.

my wife knows about;
my playing
my porn
this site
how much i am online
and she does play with me.

she isnt into it for herself - SHE IS VANILLA
but she DOES get into it for me (and i have created a monster)
and she does a HELL OVA GOOD JOB

[asspussy]

what a complex issue! I side with Gershi on the issue of compatibility. My wife and I separated twice because her sex drive was was much lower than mine. I had lots of sex both times, but missed the companionship and love I had with my wife. Was it the right decision? I still don't know. We're still good friends, but haven't been lovers for years. I doubt if she ever really enjoyed sex in any way, shape, or form and there aren't too many ways I don't enjoy it. She knows about, but ignores, my toys and porn surfing. At this point, knowing my addictive and self-destructive ways, this is still the best place for me.