Help getting gf to play rougher/larger with me.

[Manthatcan]

I havnt opened up to anyone besides my gf that I enjoy stretching myself and pushing my limits to say the least. I have dozens of name brand silicone toys up to 5” diameter and take them all.  She fist me past sigmoid and double fist me sometimes but I can’t quite get her to push my limits further. Also another thing I hate is I am embarrassed/ashamed to “push out” while she’s fisting me bc she will truly see how loose and decently prolapsed I am. It feels so good to push out but I’m embarrassed or something. 

[GratefulBread]

The best thing to do is just bring it up with her, share with her what your desires and goals with your play are and open that communication. Even explain to her how you're a bit embarrassed to share all of this, because odds are she'll understand and be supportive as she has so far.

I actually had a pretty similar dilemma with my gf. She would play with my butt, fist me, explore stretching width and depth, etc. But I never told her about prolapse-- until I did, figured it was just time I went ahead and told her, even if it was embarrassing. My thoughts basically were: "She already knows all this other stuff, what will it hurt to explain the rest?"

[Darthvin]

If she shoves her arms up your butt 8 really wouldn't worry about opening up to her. I told my partner and she wasn't phased at all - but then nothi g shocks her anymore haha

[Manthatcan]

I really appreciate the calming motivation GreatfulBread.  I think I just needed some sort of push to talk to her and hear some of y’all’s stories.    She has accepted everything so far very well and we even regularly stretch her ass in hopes of fisting. We are at 2.8” diameter plugs or my 4 fingers at knuckles on her so she clearly is a little freaky.    I think my main hold up with the pushing/prolapsing thing was that she’s a Nurse Practitioner and I’d wonder if she’d draw the safety line there and say something that’d shoot me down I guess.  But reading yalls comments and reminding myself she regularly double fists me elbow deep and well on her way to being fisted herself prolapsing isn’t that much more of a “shocker” per say.  Thanks again for the encouragement!

[Manthatcan]

Since y’all’s significant others fist y’all I do have another question. Not sure if I should start a new post or not so please let me know if you recommend I do.   Question being we’ve gotten way better at communicating in this subject, but I still have some sort of mental reservation on when/how I ask when I’m craving to be stretched.  We will txt and talk abt new ideas and such but then a couple days later I’m like mentally blocked from asking for the services lol.  I believe my feelings are like selfish, don’t want it to seem I enjoy it above having sex with her, seem “gay”, etc. I’m not sure what it is really..  do y’all play on a weekly/monthly schedule? Or discuss it the day of, etc.  just curious.  Bc as you prob know it takes a little time cleaning out and preparing to take fists so it can’t be just spur of the moment.   Thanks in advance. 

[Darthvin]

I've replied my thoughts but to add - butt play is definitely not gay. And I'd act on impulse, not chat about it and then expect it later in the week. A couple (in my opinion) won't work this way. When you're both in the mood, bring up conversation then, but act on it, not suggest it for a later day. 

[Manthatcan]

Man I really really appreciate your advice. Your advice just sort of gave me a level headed confidence to the conversations. I really glad I joined the forum.  I’ve always kind of wanted to share my butt play knowledge and show a couple people how advanced I’ve gotten.  It’s like I’m a professional at the act but very timid when it comes to talking abt it with her. She’s open minded and loves to please, it’s just a me thing.  Thanks for the confidence again. 

[jaakkokulta]

If you can have sex with a woman and be "gay", can you have sex with a man and be "straight"? I think the definition comes from who you have the sex with, not what kind of sex you have?

[Morgan_Nice]

I usually try to send her a message with a suggesting image or text and ask her if she wants to do this kind of thing in the evening. I try to make it a suggestion, if she is in the mood it's a go (and I then have time to prep myself), if I feel like she is not too much in the mood, I just don't push it and postpone... This seems to work well for me, and she is actually more often in the mood than I thought before asking

[Darthvin]

On 7/11/2022 at 2:54 AM, jaakkokulta said:

If you can have sex with a woman and be "gay", can you have sex with a man and be "straight"? I think the definition comes from who you have the sex with, not what kind of sex you have?

I'd say it's more about love and connection. Sex is sex at the end of the day. Personally for me (and I guess only me) I'm straight because I love my woman, the comfort, closeness, affection etc. Certainly wouldn't want to snuggle with a bloke and watch a movie. But if the opportunity to get fisted or fucked occurred I wouldn't mind.