A serious discussion about Prep or Truvada

[bigtoys420]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to have this discussion but I want to try. 

The one thing that keeps coming up in my search for happiness and acceptance of who I am is hiv status. The reason is every dating site I try its all over the place. Lots of guys in south Florida have it and my biggest fear is getting it. 

I realize that I fall into a very high if not second highest risk group to get it, just short of the people who use needles. Im in a high risk area, i would like to find one person who i could play with but cant so im stuck going from partner to partner with strangers, i dont know the status of the person im sleeping with as people lie, almost no one in South Florida wants to wear a condom, i get fisted and have played to the point where i bleed, and to top it all off i party and play but no needles. 

Overall this has really got me down the past 2 days. I was so happy to hookup last week but now I realize all it did was to heighten my fears about getting something. I realize how guys don't want to wear a condom and how easy it is to forget about it when you are in the moment especially when you are partying and playing. 

I made an appointment with my doctor next week. I'll have to come clean with her about my lifestyle and see what she recommends but I feel truvada is the right choice for me. 

I'm curious what everyone elses experience with this has been. Are you on truvada, do you use condoms. Any real life experiences would be helpful. Thanks and stay safe. 

[RectalSonar]

No direct experience here and, no offense, nothing I even want to take a chance on in the first place. That being said, if you're potentially going to be exchanging bodily fluids with people who have a likelihood of HIV infection, I don't think there's really much doubt that it will be necessary to have safer sex. From reading up on Truvada, the most common side effects don't seem to be too bad (although the less common and more severe ones do look a little scary), something I am sure your doctor will cover in detail. The real sticking point is the cost - it's expensive and the approved generic version (which in Canada lists for about 1/2 to 1/3 the cost of the name brand version) isn't due to be released until next September. Even if the generic comes in about the same price as it goes for in Canada, it's about $400 a month...depending on how much may or may not be covered by insurance, that could be a significant financial commitment.

As for transmission rates, one study says that those using Truvada as a preventative measure experienced a 51% reduction in transmission rates compared to the rest of the population - since that isn't 100%, I would still strongly recommend barrier methods in addition to the medication. I understand completely that it can be easy to forget condoms when you're in the heat of the moment but HIV is forever and even with all the treatments available today it's a deadly, incurable disease. A friend of mine has herpes and that's something that, while obviously less dangerous than HIV, is going to be with him forever...if you think it's hard to be HIV-negative in a place where there are a higher-than-average number of HIV-positive people, imagine how hard it would be to be HIV-positive literally anywhere.

It should also go without saying that regular and, indeed, frequent STD testing is paramount, especially if you're not sticking with a single partner. HIV can be a nasty one that hides from tests, but it's also not the only disease to worry about. Anyone who hasn't been tested, doesn't want to be tested, or is hesitant to share their results is someone you probably don't want to be with anyway, HIV or otherwise.

[bigtoys420]

Thanks for that reply. I looked online at my insurance, here in the states for a 3 month supply of it cost 4700. My out of pocket expenses will be 150. Which is not bad for 3 months. If i did not have insurance it would be another story. 

All of this really highlights my fears about catching something and how I like to play. Obviously I'm afraid of catching something but my fears of how I like to play are real. I have an addictive personality. Im addicted to sex and im addicted to drugs but when I combine them it takes everything to the extreme. 

My hookup last weekend was on another level of enjoyment and pleasure. It also showed me how quickly things could spirle out of control. How all of a sudden Tina and Gina were there in the room with me. I have never said yes to it but i would be lying to say the desire was not there. It became apparent how normal it is in the gay fisting community when my top talked about it. To him it was no big deal that he did this on the weekend and went to work on Monday. That it was under control. 

How does all this relate to truvada? I fear what might happen if I meet a bad, evil person. Between my addiction, my fears, the pressure, the stress and my internalized homophobia I need something to get me over my fears and out of the house. I picture meeting a guy online and going to his place for a fisting session. We start partying and everything is going great but unknown to me he snuck a little bit of drugs in my butt without me noticing. Before I know it I passout from being drugged by a stranger I just met. At this point there's nothing that I can do to stop anyone from fucking me without a condom and from my host inviting over other people to fuck me too. 

This is the level my fears run. This is what I'm trying to prevent and where I think truvada can help me. 

At 6 foot 3 inches i can defend myself if needed but how can i defend myself from being drugged and rapped by a new top. The top i met last weekend was too nice, perfect and sweet but i have to be real with myself. People are evil in nature and will drug another person just to have sex without a condom. 

Ultimately this brings me to another related question. As a fisting bottom how does one screen a new top?

My poor experience so far has been that no one wants to date or talk. It all comes down to one thing sex. It's hard to get to know someone when you don't get the time to sit down and communicate. It feels like no one wants to spend the time to meet for dinner or drinks to talk. When you ask someone to meet first, before sex, they tell you no, its a waste of time. 

Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places but as a fisting bottom I feel like everyone wants to fist and fuck me but no one wants to get to know me. 

Given all that it feels like safe sex, condoms, gloves, and truvada are my best defense. As well as staying away from shady acting people who do drugs. It's either i get out there and try or stay home alone. 

 

Edited November 8, 2019 by bigtoys420

[Rosebutt]

So, an admitted drug addict... doesn’t want to deal with drug addicts? Am I following you correctly?

[bigtoys420]

@Rosebutt that's it.

When I'm by myself I have some control but when I'm with other people anything can happen and I lose that control.

I know I have problems. I'm thinking of going to talk to a professional. 

[Rosebutt]

I think you should sort yourself out on that level before even THINKING of diving into the deep, shark-infested sea you’ve referred to. From the sound of it, although you seem to know what the right thing to do is intellectually, your addictive personality has the potential to take over and lead you in the wrong, possibly lethal direction.

Get help. It’s out there.

[bigtoys420]

Thanks