How secret are your sexual proclivities?

[anuspainus]

Here's a poll of sorts. or we could call it a shaft, for our gay friends...

how many people that you know even semi-personally are aware of your sexual tendencies with regard to anal play, fisting, large toy play, or any other dirty little habits you may have regarding sexual extremism?

anyone? anyone?

okay, i'll go first...

the only people who know about my "secret" side is my ex-wife, who was my first real world, sexually deviant partner who was into all this stuff, and a girlfriend i had about 1 1/2 years ago who enjoyed being vaginally fisted. that's it!

other than those two, i am pretty much forced to "fly solo", as it were. i've never shared any of that part of my life with anyone else, even people i've known for a number of years, for fear of being ostracized in some way.

[anllover]

Not sure what it has to do with "gay friends"
But I will share with you my answer. I only have my current wife to share this with. I was about to share this info with my brother but recently the family has become distant. I do think my brother also engages but a little dabble, not the full monty i do

[renny]

The thing is society is bunch of hypocrites. Many people are fantasising about doing "dirty perversions" but are simply too affraid to reveal that to partner. They affraid to loose the ones they love. It is opression. There are some open minded high profile sexulogists in every country which voice can change something, but it will take time.
The problem with revealing your fantasies to friends or people at work, etc is that even if they wont say anything bad in your face about it, they will start to spread the rummors and if the right time will come someone will use it against you.
No one close to me knows about my interests at the time. I don't thin it will change. People are morons these days. Edited November 11, 2007 by renny

[TBTB]

I don't think that many peeps will be able to say that they share thier sexual interests with thier friends or colleagues; no matter how staid or extreme they are or thier tastes are. I don't think its something that comes up in everyday conversation. Personally speaking its something that would only be known to my current sexual partner or perhaps someone who I thought might be receptive to that sort of talk to with a view to future sexual activity...... I doubt that anyone on this site has a 'I LOVE FISTING' T shirt that they wear outside of thier home; though I'm happy to be put right on that My experience is that even though males dont mind anonymously revealing thier desires and tendencies on a site like this; they are probably less likely to do so in a real life situation even with another male. My experience is that ladies on the other hand do have sexually explicit conversations with thier female friends. I know my ex used to have very frank conversations with her close friends about BJ techniques, anal etc etc. But maybe that was the exception rather than the rule; though I doubt it. Comment ladies? We live in a world full of hypocricy; thats just part of the human condition. Condemning people in public on those things we would like to be doing ourselves. Just how many Catholic priests have been caught child molesting? etc etc etc. An interesting topic

Edit: I just read this back and thought I'd add that I dont include myself or anyone on here in the child molesting priest category! Just trying to make a point on hypocrisy! Edited November 11, 2007 by TBTB

[anuspainus]

Thanks guys... this is interesting stuff!

first, anllover: when i made the "poll vs. shaft" play on words, i was merely trying to let everyone know i wanted to garner their opinion. it seems there are people on the site who want a definite line drawn between hetero and homo content and/or topics, so that was just my attempt to try and include everyone.

and just for the record, while i am a heterosexual, i've lived and worked around gays and lesbians all my life, some of which i was lucky enough to call friend, so i would never cast any aspersions at anything that anyone does, as long as no one gets hurt.

renny: your opinion almost exactly coincides with my own. i'm not secretive by nature, and it took me some years when i was young to learn that half of what i said might later be used against me in some way. which is a real shame!

tbtb: I agree with you, although i think i may have been under a wrong assumption that people who enjoy fisting and extreme play were pretty proud about it and may even enjoy these things in small groups. but when i think about it, i can also imagine these same people being VERY quiet about those topics. i wasn't taking into consideration the person in a one-on-one relationship with a partner and not discussing their personal life outside that relationship.

which, of course, was exactly my situation and i would never share anything intimate that was done between myself and the person i cared about.

SO... maybe for some it's a very intimate thing to be shared in the bedroom behind closed doors, but i still believe that for others, it's a sport and may even include team shirts with names on the back! as in "i'm a member of the Bay City Fisters!"

[anuspainus]

the site slowed down and i got a double post in here... sorry.

but hello again everyone! Edited November 11, 2007 by anuspainus

[minx]

I suppose I'm in the bizarre position of having my fetishes and "abilities" plastered all over the internet in my previous line of work. I've been fairly open (excuse the pun) with men who are either sexual partners or are likely t o beome partners. Or just to wind them up of course. My husband sort of knows what I like.

Whilst I have had and do have sexually explicit conversations with my girlfriends I don't think many know about the fisting. Obviously anal sex comes up in conversation and I'll talk about that, but not fisting. I don't know why, maybe its just my dirty little secret? I did discuss it with one other girl but only because we were working together and were discussing a clients "requirements".

When I was pregnant it was quite amusing though talking about pelvic floor exercises and the actual birth. Couldn't really tell the midwife neither were an issue!

[TBTB]

Just another thought and perspective on this. Not fisting specific etc; but regarding sexual disclosure generally. Have you ever said something and then wished you hadn't? I bet we all have! I remember when I was a lot younger and used to think it was cool boasting about my sexual conquests in the pub to my mates. Well; my best friend at the time was telling me about this great girl he'd met and how she 'swallowed' and was great in the sack and really liked it up the ass. A good topic over a pint or two at the time. Well; the conversations about her dried up and six months later I was best man at his wedding when he married the girl. I've known her for 25 years or so now and they are now divorced and my knowledge of her sexual tendencies (not that they were extreme in any way) didnt have any bearing on my friendship with her or my friendship with my best friend, but somehow I reckon he probably regretted that conversation in the pub with me the day after they first met ......... I guess the point is that we never know how things are going to turn out and that experience leads to discretion ............

[gninori]

Just another thought and perspective on this. Not fisting specific etc; but regarding sexual disclosure generally. Have you ever said something and then wished you hadn't? I bet we all have! I remember when I was a lot younger and used to think it was cool boasting about my sexual conquests in the pub to my mates. Well; my best friend at the time was telling me about this great girl he'd met and how she 'swallowed' and was great in the sack and really liked it up the ass. A good topic over a pint or two at the time. Well; the conversations about her dried up and six months later I was best man at his wedding when he married the girl. I've known her for 25 years or so now and they are now divorced and my knowledge of her sexual tendencies (not that they were extreme in any way) didnt have any bearing on my friendship with her or my friendship with my best friend, but somehow I reckon he probably regretted that conversation in the pub with me the day after they first met ......... I guess the point is that we never know how things are going to turn out and that experience leads to discretion ............

as we say and do in italy: tell the sin but don't tell the sinner
a friend told me of the sexual skills of a woman we knew and, after they split up, i tried and managed to pick her up in a sexual way. hadn't he told me how would i have behaved? he aroused my interest for sure and then, when i and she had a short affair, he was jealous. i'm sorry but the fault is partially his, not the fault maybe but he was a cause and gave a strong motivation to me to carnally know her. i didnt know to hurt him because he never expressed special feelings toward her but only talked about sex.
that was long time ago: afterwards they became a basically stable couple and, since then, i have only been friends with her, even in the periods they weren't together...

[anllover]

Mostly wise words and I think the same as renny, TBTB, and anuspainus.
Being scared of social outcast is why we dont share more...
Hell I was workind a construction crew and my best bud kept making a joke about our boss. He was kinda a prick/idiot, but had a very hot EURO tpye hot girlfriend.... So my pal would always laugh and suggest SHE would give him the big black strapon when he got home. IF only he would have known what I was thinking Anyway there isnt a chance in hell I could work for an Italian, with a Newfie both knowing what I did at home and NOT have a shit and fucked with filled day.

But saying that I would gladly wear a
TEAM ROSEBUTTBOARD FISTEE shirt around. But then again I dont know anyone and this town (in the DT core) is pretty tolerant.

I will post pics IF I get a shirt. Perhaps my team shirt at the CN Tower?
Hell! If I come up with a shirt can I mail it to my pals and we ALL take a pic of ourselves wearing it in a very public place. Game?

[TBTB]

Just another thought on this and maybe here's the rub; and maybe I'm bouncing around here a bit. At around about the same time as my tale above (around 25 years old) I was in the army and remember a friend saying to me "who're you shagging at the moment?"; I said A****; he said "Oh; she likes it up the ass doesnt she?" Yep; said I; and left it at that. Just a casual off-hand comment that meant nothing at the time. Now at the time; I wasnt bothered; why would I be? And I sort of lived with her for a couple of years at the week-ends etc (I worked 150 miles away during the week) and I've got to say, she was by far the very best girl I've been with sexually. So uninhibited and a friggin continual hard on! I remember in bed one night after being out on the town her suggesting we invite the girl next door in to join us who she said she had had a little dabble with; and me being pissed and knackered said no thanks, too tired and turned over and went to sleep! What a fuckin jerk! This is absolutely strike me dead true; what an absolute twat I was. Anyway; I'm digressing; the point is that A***** was quite sexually active and so was I at the time. In fact; I was shaggin anything with two feet at the time. But somehow; the thought that A***** had shagged nearly everyone I knew sort of put me off. She even went to see my mum and gang when I was over in Canada (home turf anllover) on tour, to sort of meet the family etc; but I dumped her when I came back. Why? Well, I guess I didnt like the idea that most folk I knew had also known her intimately and knew just what turned her on. So I guess to round this off; generally its percieved that its good for blokes but not for girls to fuck around. Blokes are probably less discreet than girls. And the BIG BIG moral to the story is; if she suggests inviting the girl next door in to join you; dont even think about it and if you have been drinking then get sober and race down the stairs and open the fuckin door for her! anyway; I've forgotten the point I was trying to make now; maybe it's seize the moment and keep your fucking mouth shut about it! ............. Boy oh boy; do I wish I'd made a different choice back then ....... DONT LOOK BACK; DONT LOOK BACK! Edited November 12, 2007 by TBTB

[Tangerine]

Excellent story TBTB Anll please send me your RSBB t-shirts quick !


For my part I know I'm talking too much of my private life. But the result (or the fact) is that people and even strangers I meet often tell me very personnal and intimate stories immediatley.

Don't know if it's good or bad but it's my funny reality (^^^) Edited November 12, 2007 by Tangerine

[TBTB]

Hey Tang; not a story, really. The love of my life ......... the LUST of my life anyway. A really good girl that would do anything; but get undressed with the lights on?!?!?!? Very stange; and she was gorgeous! ...... anyway ....... thats all in the past; and she is a granny now (I looked her up!) and settled down. Pity.

But the real point is what are we going to do about our T shirt? Gaping cunts and asses are too obvious with fists in context ........................... something a little more subtle and I'm game. I'll wear mine and get it photo'd on me in town in public and here's my $10 commitment for mine ............. Contest? Ciao. T Edited November 12, 2007 by TBTB

[latexbarbieTS]

Everyone that knows i'm into the bdsm/fetish lifestyle knows i love fisting, assplay, and more. I'm very open about it and not shy one bit when it comes to talking about such things. Though i have made quite a few people blush discussing fisting:)

hugs

barbie

[minx]

I used to be really open about my sexual habits but you just never know when its going to come back to haunt you.

[westcountry_boy]

Hey guys, first time i've posted.

The only people who've ever known about my sexual preferences have been 2 girlfriends. I've had more or less the same experience from both of them, a reluctance to perform these acts on me.

My current girlfriend says she'll do anything to make me happy, but when she has done a little anal play on me it's been one or two fingers and it's clear that she's not at all turned on by the idea. I love her so so very much and it's a difficult topic delving deeper (get the pun ha ha) into what would really turn me on. I mean I can take my own fist now and having her hand inside while she sucked me off would i'm sure give me the best orgasm ever.

Anal fisting sure is a difficult subject to broach. What are we to do?!

[anllover]

....Anal fisting sure is a difficult subject to broach. What are we to do?!

Move very slowly Perhaps she doesnt like the idea of going that far now, but after many times she might get used to putting fingers in you. Once that happens it becomes easier to go further, especially IF she really does enjoy making you feel good. That is pretty much how me and my wife progressed. Now she knows if she rubs my ass just a little she will get very good results, a bit more and I turn to an asspig OINK! She knows alot about me and just from being honest and working slowly. Although you do realize you will have to meet her in the middle on some things too. My wife isnt the most fond of deep or hard fisting because the little blood you get freaks her out, no problem I can live. She has no problem putting a fist or a few fingers in my ass and blow me. She fucks me with so much passion at times when we strapon fuck. All this took time and didnt really go where I originally was hoping but we are in a great place.

Saying all that though I feel blessed with my wife. She is the most wonderful person in the world and we both love each other more than anything. The truth is all we ever tell each other. Honestly and Openness is very important to both of us in everything in our lives.

I hope that helps you a bit.

[alongeasy]

No one knows about my weird taste. I like it this way.
But I always tell unknown people about my games when im chatting with them.

[minx]

Anal fisting sure is a difficult subject to broach. What are we to do?!

Firstly welcome to the board!

Secondly - it's not much easier for women either! Not every guy is into fisting or even anal So it's always a bit hit and miss what they're going to say or think!

[charismaticinva26]

I'm riding the bus all alone

[Apocangel]

Besides you all, no one knows about my "Diferent" preferences. Plan to keep it that way.

Solo all the way Edited August 27, 2008 by Apocangel

[mn2009]

well if it were to just include "real life" people, then just my wife as well. I feel too ashamed for most cases to admit in a public manner. like i will be Scrutinized, as if i were "Any Different".

But thats society, and not untill the day you can wake, walk out youre door naked, and do ten jumping jacks, on youre front lawn and every part of it be legal and Socially Accepted. will that ever change.

[Dats]

No one except for you guys.
I've been with 2 girls for a short time that were into anal, I only knew after they mentioned it first, I acted all surprised "ok, I guess we could try that". So even those 2 don't know.

[bass_man]

All alone here

[oregongaper]

My brother knows...(he like to get pissed on). My mother knows but acts like she doesn't. We're all very close, I work alongside my brother and our office/shop is at the folks' place

A couple of casual platonic friends know. My former girlfriend(from my videos), of course... and her current boyfriend.

Maybe more. I don't show my face much where my porn stuff is, but I do a few times. My real name and the oregongaper name don't cross hit each other when I google myself. My videos have half a million views...but the way I figure it, if someone I know  does discover me and my kinks, they would have to have a real interest themselves, so more than likely it wouldn't be a problem.