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jjreilly79

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Everything posted by jjreilly79

  1. You would think that a forum about anal stretching, which clearly states in its rules, would be a safe place for trans people, wouldn't you? Anyway good luck with your transition, and congrats on finding yourself. Same to you @Clara! Huge respect to all trans/non-binary folk for having the courage to live their lives the way they want to. @blaman there's enough hatred and intolerance in the world, you really don't need to add to it. But I'm sure you can find plenty of forums where you can express hatred and anger to your heart's content if you really feel the need to do that. I'm not convinced this is the place for it though. Certainly if this forum should turn into a transphobic hell hole then I certainly won't be hanging around much longer. As for the original question, "What you think about being anal only?" … I could never do it. After three days without masturbating I go completely insane and can achieve absolutely nothing until I've had a release. I love anal stretching, but I still need masturbation as well.
  2. This is a mind over matter exercise. Deep breathing and focus is required to control the muscles. Personally I love the sensation of my body trying to push against the insertion though, I find it's stronger and more intense than an orgasm… and I can do it over and over and over.
  3. First fist in my ass was my own, aged 36. But been playing with my butt in various ways for 30 years before that. Looking at the answers above it looks like I'm late to the fisting game :-/ I totally agree, anal play and sexuality have nothing to do with one another (after all, everyone has an arsehole). But society imposes certain taboos, prejudices and stereotypes on us, whether directly or subliminally. Some people can easily overcome that and enjoy their kinks without getting hung up on them, for others it may be a more difficult journey. I'm glad @cuckmouse came to terms with his internalised conflict between his sexuality and the apparent taboo of his desires; I'm still struggling with some of mine. Other than chatting on this forum I've never told anyone else about my fetishes, not even my wife. But then I'm 99% sure she wouldn't be into any of them and would be actively repulsed by many of them…
  4. Been married nearly 15 years. Wife has no idea about my kinky side so have to go about stretching in private. I only really got into stretching about 6 months ago, since then I've gone from about 1" diameter to a little over 3" diameter… all without my wife finding out. I'm lucky to own my own business with my own office in a shared building. I keep my toys there and stretch whenever I can. Stretching as people are walking up and down the corridor outside my office makes it feel all the more naughty. But clean-up is a nightmare. And there's a constant worry that my colleagues might discover my stash of massive toys. I keep them locked away in a drawer in my desk, but even then there's still a risk associated with it.
  5. That's pretty much what I'm doing. Just pushing it a little further each time. It aches after each session… and sitting for long periods hurts now, but it feels slightly better each day. I've broken my coccyx twice in my life (once as a kid, once as an adult) and the pain is like that, but less severe.
  6. Currently at 25.5cm/10" circumference (8.12cm/3.2" diameter). Getting harder to stretch further now as my coccyx/tailbone hurts as I get towards my current limit… but want to go much further. Open to any suggestions of how to deal with the tailbone!
  7. I tend to agree. It takes time for everything to settle back down again after a good stretching. My general rule of thumb goes like this: if you're not a little sore after a stretching session (note: a LITTLE sore) then you probably weren't pushing yourself enough. And when you next come to stretch, if you're still sore, then it's best to skip for now and wait a few days until you're ready for another stretch. I'm on a break from stretching right now, in fact, because I'm still sore from the last session. If it's taking more than 3 or 4 days to get back to feeling normal after a stretching session, or if you're feeling very sore after stretching, then you're probably overdoing it and should dial it down a notch.
  8. Keep going! It’s pretty much as simple as that, we all were where you are now at some point. When I was at 3 fingers I found a dildo that was about the same size as 3 fingers and used it regularly, but then I would find ways to add a little extra stretch; Putting a sock or two over it with a condom over the top can help size up a smaller dildo. The trick is to keep going just a tiny bit larger whenever you can. Eventually you will get to 4 fingers and/or 2 dildos at the same time. I usually stretch myself a little bit more once a week and just enjoy my current limits for the rest of the week! Just be sure to listen to your body. If it hurts, stop. If there’s blood, stop and give your body time to recover before starting again. And, most importantly, just enjoy the process!
  9. I don't have one to test with, but I very much doubt it. Looks like it's about 6cm too much for me in circumference.
  10. I can now take Rascal's "The Inmate Intermediate" plug easily and I can fist myself (although I have fairly small hands), and I'm working on my new toy: The American Bombshell Destroyer. I can get the first 4 rings in nicely and I'm working on the 5th ring. I estimate I can currently take up to 28cm circumference. Not really sure where to place myself on the scale based on that. 5, 6 or 7? "L" and "XL" are ambiguous…
  11. Well, I was. Like I say, it was my first session on the new toy and was a little over-optimistic about my ability to take it. I thought I had a lot more of it in me than I actually did. I thought I just needed to give it the last little push, but I still had about another 50% of the taper left to go in reality. I also wasn't showering the toy with lube at that point. Still, you live and learn. The big fissure, I suspect, will scar. Such is life. I find it too hard to lie on my back, hold the toy, and penetrate myself with it. But I do prefer that position for inserting food and other smaller items. As I mentioned in the OP, I got the toy in... once... but it was immediately pushed out by the spasms of the muscles in the colon. Chances are my ass just isn't quite ready to take something this large. Once I can get it in regularly the next step, I suppose, will be learning to accommodate it inside me. After playing I use Anusol to soothe the abused hole. Seems to work a treat. Comes in suppository form and cream form. I use both. Yeah she's definitely not into it. If she knew half of what I get up to when she's not around she would divorce me, I'm sure. The fact is I'm just a lot kinkier than her. I love her, so it doesn't matter to me to be honest. I'm happy to satisfy my kinky side when she's not here. No sex shops locally :-( We used to have one but it closed down, and it was a high street chain so wouldn't have carried anything like poppers. Nothing. She doesn't know about it. I hide the toys from her and only use them when she's not around. I can't. At least, not yet. Hoping to get there soon though :) But no, she has no idea I have the ability to put items in my ass that would make her cry just to look at them. Nor does she know that I like to sound my penis, or any of my other fetishes. I've always needed a lot more sex than her, earlier in our relationship it was clear she saw it as a chore having sex with me every day. She seems to enjoy sex once every few weeks, where as I need a release every day. So... I always make sure I'm there for her when she needs it, but then I also have my other fun when I can. Some would say it's dishonest, but I just see it as a way for me to get what I need without cheating on her. The relationship doesn't have to be built on sex, sure it's important, but we click on so many other levels that I don't see a boring sex life as a problem.
  12. 50mm girth? That's tiny. Like even your little fingers are probably bigger than that. Are you sure you don't mean diameter? Girth is the measure AROUND the object, diameter is the measure ACROSS the object. 50mm diameter would be about 157mm girth, which would place you not that far behind where I'm at (now very nearly able to take my 230mm girth plug). Can't say I met a barrier at that size particularly. My routine was to use dildos of varying sizes. I would warm up and get the largest I could take inside me, then use a well lubed small smooth plastic vibrator to stretch me out. Takes a few long sessions each time to open me up. Then when I could manage that I then stepped up to the next largest dildo. And so on. Then I bought the previously mentioned plug and have been slowly building up how much of that I can take. Pushing out as if to take a crap while pushing the toy in helps. I've also found having a couple of beers helps, but that's just me. I've never used any fancy lubes, just cheap and cheerful stuff off Amazon. That said, now I'm getting into larger toys I'm on the lookout for better, thicker lubes.
  13. I think I need to get a little looser first, it hurts my anus when I push really hard. Also, I'm not trying to develop a prolapse. I just want to be able to take massive toys in my ass :-) Well, medium sized toys, to begin with. If it happens as a result then it happens, but I'm not actively seeking to prolapse. I realised last session just how much lube matters. My first session I got a fissure, a fairly large one for that matter. It doesn't particularly hurt, but it's a bit ugly and I have to be careful when stretching or it reopens and starts bleeding. Every session after that I bled, until the last session where I used TONNES of lube. This session just gone I went a step further and douched and then poured some baby oil up inside me before I even started, which did seem to help me get into the session more quickly. Any other lube related tips would be greatly appreciated :-) I bought an anal lube off Amazon, but haven't been blown away by it. Too wet, so easily slides off the butt plug. When this bottle runs out (which won't be long, as I'm having to constantly replenish the plug) I'll be looking into other options. Preferably something less likely to slide off the plug while using. Fisting's not an option for me sadly. My wife's not really into back door play. She lets me insert a few fingers when I'm getting her off, and on occasion she even lets me fuck her in the ass, but she's never shown any interest in doing anything anal for me. She doesn't know I am into this stuff at all. I have to hide my toys from her :-( Poppers: tempting. Never tried them, but I am tempted. I saw the French website listed elsewhere on this site and thought about it. I would have to get them delivered to work though, so how discreet is the packaging? Re patience and disappointment: I'm coping :-) Just frustrating when I can feel I'm so close to reaching my (current) goal, yet I feel like I keep falling on the last hurdle! But I know I'll get there. I can see progress, because I've videoed every session with this toy. Early days I could barely take more than the tip. Now my buttocks are touching the floor and it's literally just the last millimetre or so left to go. When I got the toy my initial thoughts were "Oh fuck, I've fucked up here. That can never fit in me!" Now it's pretty much in there and, after each session, I can look right up my man cunt and see my guts!
  14. So, I've been working on getting my new butt plug (9" circumference) in for a few weeks now. I'm annoyingly close, I've just been battling the last few days with the inner ring of my anus. Today I think I had a breakthrough. I'm about 95% certain I actually got it all the damn way in, past both rings of the anus, but the problem is when I get to this point my whole colon involuntarily pushes back against the toy. It's like my entire lower abdomen goes into spasm to try and force it back out! I guess it's to be expected: the colon's primary job is to rid itself of "large items" that pass its way. But as a result of this strong involuntary pushback the toy immediately popped back out and I was incredibly frustrated to discover I was unable to achieve it a second time. Still there's always the next session, once my ass has had a chance to recover a little (I've pushed it hard this week)! What I'm wondering is whether anyone / everyone else has this struggle, and what they do about it. Is there any way to train the abdomen to accept the presence of the toy? Or is it just a case of it gets used to it in time? I'm so frustrated that I'm SO CLOSE, but still not quite there!
  15. It's a surprisingly good motivator! I've told myself I get to cum again when I can get either the buttplug or my fist in my ass. Either's fine. It'll make the achievement all the more glorious when it happens! BTW I don't mean the sphincter leading into the sigmoid, I just mean the inner sphincter of the anus. i.e. The involuntarily controlled one. I find it's always a lot more reluctant than the outer ring. But I made good progress today: As an experiment I tried putting some food in me: a tomato and a lemon. Couldn't get the lemon past the inner sphincter, but JUST managed the tomato. Later tried again after some more stretches and the tomato was easy, so re-tried the lemon and got it in Over 4 hours of stretching today, my legs are killing me from all the squatting!
  16. Just realised you're talking about a considerably bigger plug than mine (mine's approx 3 inches in diameter), so I'm probably teaching my granny to suck eggs. Sorry about that.
  17. Sounds like fun. I'm so infuriatingly close to getting the Rascal in, but just NOT quite there... yet. The inner sphincter seems to be the problem as of today. But that's an improvement, as the outer sphincter was the problem as of yesterday :-) As an incentive I'm not allowing myself to orgasm until I've taken it fully. It's been 9 days now, I'm pretty much climbing the walls! Once I've got this one in me the plan is to wear it for long periods to stretch everything out and ready myself for the next challenge.
  18. Hm, just checked the packaging. Turns out I'd got the numbers completely mixed up. It's 9" / 23cm GIRTH (i.e. circumference). 5.5" is the insertable length (not so bothered about that, I'm trying to stretch not go deep). It's the Rascal V2 "The Inmate" Intermediate. Probably drops my score down to about a 4. All well
  19. I've done webcams where I showed my face. The risk makes it more exciting, but it is very much a risk. Which is probably why I've only ever done that drunk :-/ You could try doing something that you'd never normally do with your hair, like slicking it all back, and then wear some makeup to alter your appearance a little. Depending on your hair colour, you might be able to temporarily dye it too (I'm told food colouring washes out, or you can brush talc through your hair to make it lighter, or even grey). These things might all help to reduce the risk of being recognised. But there will always be a risk, and ultimately only you can decide whether it's a risk worth taking. Whatever else you do, just play safe.
  20. What worked for me was buying a big toy that I KNEW I wouldn't be able to get in me. And then, regularly as I am able, take as much of it as I can and hold it there at the "oh god this is going to rip me open" stage as long as possible before backing off, then trying again. I do 5-10 of these, then have a 5 minute break, then repeat. I try to do this for at least 2 hours solid when I do it, and I aim to get at least one good session in a week. As I loosen up I also strain as if trying to pass a stool which seems to help me take more. I then set myself an ultimatum: no orgasms until I get it in. I set that challenge on the last day of September, so it's easy for me to track. Day 9 today and I'm going out of my mind, desperate to masturbate. It's an incredible motivator... I've gone from being barely able to take any of it to now being at the stage where I can get it into my anus, but not past the second sphincter. Currently working on that, hoping to get it fully inserted within the next week, hopefully no more than two. YMMV, HTH.
  21. I'd say either a 6 or a 7. I have an 18" double dildo and can get that almost all the way in, or I can double it over and insert both ends together, as well as even adding a third dildo. And I have a 5.5" butt plug which I'm close to getting in (but just not quite there yet). Yet I'm unable to fist myself.
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