bigtoys420

Its the sad truth they are mentally addicting and makes playing without feel like something is missing.

To be honest i have thought about it but i run into the same problem. The only way i know how to explain it is there are 2 sides of me. The side that gets up dresses and acts like a man and goes to work every day. Then there is the side of me when im not working. I get high and wish i was a girl. Its been this way for 15 years now of me wishing i could be something that i cant be. I like to roleplay like a baby, wishing i was daddy's princess and even suck on a pacifier. I go on chaturbate and broadcast myself playing with my pussy wishing i could be like a normal cam girl. Like you said no face or identifying marks but at the end of the day it always leaves me feeling empty as i have been unsuccessful in finding a relationship like this. Which only makes me more depress and results in me doing more drugs. Its feels like an endless cycle at this point. I have been trying recently on asspig.com to try and find someone but my luck has been very bad and everyone is either twice my age, has HIV, does meth or all three. Overall its been depressing me and i have not been on that site in about a week to try and give myself a break. Given all that the answer to your question is the girl inside of me would love to have a porn page. I even record myself playing and have over 60GB of video i could upload today. The man inside of me fears the thought of someone finding out that is me. I wish i could find a solution to living this double life but so far i cant find an answer. I keep hoping i will find someone who will accept me for me as i feel that will truly make me happy.

I'm happy with my progress so far. I really enjoy pumping my pussy its an amazing experience and I love the results. I even found myself wanting a quick pump at 6-am before work lol. Let me know what you think. The 2 videos are from before I started pumping and the pics are after 4 days of pumping. At this rate, I'm going to have huge cunts lips https://photos.app.goo.gl/4VkxGtV54QBsL4ZL7 I also cam on chaturbate for fun if anyone is interested in watching me play. https://chaturbate.com/bigtoys420/

I was wrong its an English phrase https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_can't_have_your_cake_and_eat_it

Im not ready to create a porn page for myself. Maybe i can use google photos to share a few on here.

It's an odd saying. Basically it's saying you cant have what you want. That if you have your cake you can't eat it too. Without eating a cake it has no purpose. So while you get part of what you want, the cake, without 100%, eating and enjoying the cake, it's meaningless. It's like giving a blind person a book to read. It's also, like saying you can have your car but you can't drive it as it has no gas. You can also say the reverse, i can have my cake and eat it too. This means that you can have 100% of what you want. An example of this would be i went on a date last night and not only did I have sex but my date paid for the dinner too. I think the saying dates back to the French revolution.

I have my eye on that tentacle toy as well. Once i can get used to the stretch from the monster Plug that might be my next toy.

You forgot too. "you cant have your cake and eat it too"

I dont see a way of uploading a pic on here. I click insert other media and i have no option to upload. I did update my biopic to show the results of my first pump and i just finished my second pump 1 minute ago

I agree, they are the best toys money can buy but i do admit i want to try Mr hankys toys. Siswet plays with them all the time and she's my idol

I broadcast on chaturbate.com for fun and I would never show my face. I wish we lived in a world where I would feel safe doing so but we don't. I don't feel it's worth the risk of either losing my job or having someone try to find and hurt me because im different. It's easy to say I'm overreacting but there has been an increase of transgender crime in my area this happened not too far from where I live. https://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/20190920/sheriff-searches-home-of-rsquoperson-of-interestrsquo-in-transgender-pahokee-womanrsquos-death Given all that i have great admiration and respect for the people who do show their face. To me it shows they are not afraid of being themselves. I say do what makes you comfortable. Considering you took the time to make this post I think you are not 100% okay with showing your face but thats for you to decide.

I finally took the plunge and order an 3 inch diameter rosebud pump from Thickwall Cylinders. I have always been disappointed with my ass lips and wanted to make them bigger. The cylinder is amazing. They did a great job making it. It's perfectly sized and has no sharp edges. I put it in and stared to pump. The feeling was intense and very pleasurable. I did my best to keep the pressure around 5 inch but being high it was not easy. I came from a combination of pumping, jerking, poppers and nitrous all at the same time while feeling the stretch from the pressure. Overall it was a great first time pumping and I can see myself making this a daily thing. My before and after pics are amazing. My lips felt great after i came and even walking around i could feel them. Now that an hour has passed my lips are a little sore. I think i went a little overboard with the pressure. I'll have to be more careful next time.

I find the best way to get over a hurdle is with a top. Being ass up face down lets me relax and lets my top really open me up. I've been having luck finding tops on asspig.com. You can also use weed, poppers, and nitrous to help your body relax if you are into pnp. For your next toy, I would recommend this one. It has the right shape to stretch you open and should help you reach your 4-inch goal. I hope someday I can take a toy that size. https://www.squarepegtoys.com/shop/double-fist-plug/

Which one is the extreme goose? I've never heard of it. They are outstanding toys and make playtime that much better. The plug is my 5th toy from them. They are worth every penny as Scott at square peg toys does an amazing job making them. I was thinking of getting this one next. https://www.squarepegtoys.com/shop/ballistic-mediumlarge/

Lucky bro

Poppers are not for everyone. It's a decision that you have to make for yourself. It's just like any drug and drugs are not for everyone. Everyone uses drugs for different reasons and for some people those reasons make no sense but it does not have to. I can see 3 reasons I use drugs. One to enhance my sexual pleasure. Two, to escape my own personal issues. Three, to pretend that I'm someone else. Drugs let me do this in a way that I cant on my own. For example last night i pretended I was a cam girl. I got high on weed, nitrous, poppers and I put numbing cream on my pussy. I dressed in girls cloths and broadcasted myself on chaturbate.com. I put a pacifier in my mouth and went to town stretching my pussy while getting high on poppers and nitrous. I ended up going private with someone and felt like his little princess as i pounded my hole with my right hand while taking hits of my poppers and nitrous with my left. It was very intense and I came with a smile on my face feeling like I was a girl. I enjoyed it very much and can't wait to do it again tonight. I doubt that you have anything to relate to my experience so I can understand why you would think it's stupid and dangerous to do it. You can never know what i feel when i play like this especially when i have a top behind me with their fist up my ass pushing me to my absolute limit. It's not for everyone but for me it's the only time I can relax and truly be myself.

If you find one in Florida let me know.

I finally bought the monster plug from square peg toys. It arrived on Wednesday but I did not have the time to try it until tonight. First impressions, it is very well made, huge, soft, its as big as my fist and its heavy. It's a big fucking toy. I got ready and after enough poppers and nitrous I was craving to get it inside me. I picked it up amazed that I can only get my large hands around half of it and gave it a shot. My first attempt failed and I almost dropped it from the weight. I took another hit of poppers and tried again. First i quickly put in a smaller toy to open me up and then grabbed the plug. I concentrated on relaxing and pushing out my hole while pushing the plug in. My goal was a slow insertion but soon realized I have to give it a big push to get it inside. I pushed and the entire toy went in with one quick go. It was intense and wow was I filled. I knew I would cum quickly like this and before I know it I came with the toy inside me. After that, i had to push hard and pull at the toy to get it out of me. I'm happy with my first stretch from it. I want to go slow and get used to having it inside me. I'm also happy i took something as big as my fist I can see this being a new daily favorite toy. My end goal would be getting to the point it easily goes in and out and sleeping with it in overnight. https://www.squarepegtoys.com/shop/monster/

If you cant get poppers locally then yea, order from that french site. Im sure no one will notice. Everyone gets packages these days thanks to amazon. I never tried Anusol, i'll have to give it a shot. I always like to try new things in my hole lol. As long as you're happy with your wife thats what counts. Keep your toys locked away, clear your browser history and hopefully, she will never find out.

I like to use jlube. You mix it yourself and can make it as thick as you want. I like to squirt as much as I can inside me. The more lube the better As far as getting a 5cm / 2 inch toy in is practice. You have to get use to pushing and relaxing your hole. I find on my back gives me the best control to push out and relax. Feel the stretch and and go slow. You don't want to rip your hole and bleed. If you want to add poppers into the mix it helps your entire body relax. your hole really relaxes and opens up.

Yes lube is very important. I mix my own using jlube. I really like it as you can make it as thick as you want. It's cheaper then buying normal lube and i have had no issues using it for many years now other then the mess but thats to be expected. Anal fissures are no joke. It really shows you're trying to hard too fast. I personally don't like sitting on toys to stretch out for a new goal. I find it too dangerous to put my weight on it. If you have taken it before it's OK but for your first time i like to be on my back. It lets me relax and open up my hole. I find sitting on it i cant relax as much and end up using my weight to get it in which to me is too dangerous. I use ointments after playing to help the healing process and recommend you try it. I get them from Amazon and get one that's called Vermont bag balm. It's very good and make a warming feeling when you apply it. You can also use it as lube. The other ointment i just started to use this week is vitamin a and d diaper rash. It's feels nice and helps the area heal. I like to apply the ointment a few times a day. I love the feeling of have a wet hole lol. That sucks your wife is not into it as thats what you really need is an extra set of hands. At least she is not divorcing you over it. Most girls i tell about it freak out and never want to see me again lol. Maybe if you talk to her about it she will come around but thats something you have to decide if it's worth the risk. Most women are repulsed by the thought. While poppers are good they are not for everyone and can be addictive. I was not thrilled by the packaging as it said on the outside of the box I had ordered 4 bottles of deodorant recharge. I would suggest going to a local sex shop and buying a bottle there to make sure you like it before going through the hassle of getting it shipped to your job so your wife does not see. I would say try in a different position when you play tonight. Try it on your back where you can relax your legs and hole and really concentrate on pushing out while pushing your toy in. Go slow and feel the stretch. I find i usually reach a point where i open up and it slides in. Lastly and you dont have to answer this if you don't want to but what does your wife say about all this? When you play with your toys does she not know? Does she know you can self fist your gaping hole? The only reason I ask is I can see how difficult it must be for you. I remember my ex hated that I liked playing with my ass. She would always hold it against me and even started calling me gay that I needed to get a man. It was the beginning of the end for us but all i could do was wish she would change her mind. Nothing would have made me happier then having sex with her then bending over and having her fist me. But in the end she hated it and i would have to lie to her and fuck myself behind her back. I realize now how toxic that relationship was and how it never could have ended with both of us being happy. Im not saying that's what you need to do, im just sharing my experience. If i had to do it again I would have flat out told her this is what i like. It's not going to change and I need someone who is going to embrace it. If we can't talk a way through this where will both be sexually happy im going to have to find someone else. I cant live my entire life lying who I am while doing this behind your back its not good for you or for me.

Poppers are legal and i dont think show up on a drug test so you can try that if you want to For your girlfriend have her file her nails smooth and put on some rubber gloves. With both of her hands im sure she can give you a good stretch. Have her double fist you nightly and im sure you will open up. If her fists are too small you could try her foot. Lastly have fun with it and don't be discouraged if you can't get it in. You have many years of stretching ahead of you and you dont want to hurt yourself because you had to get it in today.

A few tips. 1 lots of lube 2 if you can find someone to fist you or use the toy on you that will help. I find being face down ass up in the bed with my top behind me helps me to relax in ways that I cant do by myself. I recently took a toy of mine balls deep thanks to the stretching from a top. Now the toy just slides in with minimal effort. 3 poppers. It's amazing how a good bottle of poppers from France will help your hole to relax and open up. 4 patience. Not everyone is able to stretch like that. Go easy and listen to your body. It's not a race. Also, give your hold a day or 2 to recover after a big stretch 5 don't get disappointed by your lack or progress. Stay positive and enjoy yourself.

4 hours wow. You have some stanima. As long as you are having fun and enjoying yourself that's what count. No cumming is great motivation. I've tried it before but after about 6 days It was driving me crazy. I had to put numbing cream on my cock to prevent me from coming when playing with my toys lol. On the 6th day I was fisted by a top and exploded. I guess my second ring is so loose now i don't notice it and i call the entrance into my sigmoid my second ring lol. I have a feeling my new butplugg will get me to notice it tonight. It's going to be one hell of a stretch.

Don't over do it by not letting yourself cum. Everyone needs to cum at least once a week lol. I've been using this toy for the past few months to open myself up. It lets me stretch both rings at the same time. It's an intense feeling that really makes you feel full and opens you up good and wide when you get it fully inside https://www.squarepegtoys.com/shop/longneck-humped/