how to tell girlfriend about anal stretching fetish

[dan druff 66]

I'm worried my girlfriend will be freaked out when she sees my gape. How have you told your SOs about this fetish? How do I get her into it so I can stretch her too?

Any help appreciated!

[xcaliluvx]

I'm worried my girlfriend will be freaked out when she sees my gape. How have you told your SOs about this fetish? How do I get her into it so I can stretch her too?

Any help appreciated!

Is your girlfriend into anal sex? If she is, the best way to soften the landing of your fetish is to learn more about what she's into. Ask her what she likes about anal play - width, depth, etc. Once she's comfortable with discussing these things with you, bringing up your own preferences won't seem so difficult to do.

At the end of the day, it's best that you always remain open and honest, and if your significant other loves/cares about you, they should be accepting of anything and everything about you.

[looseholestwo]

If you two own some sex toys, perhaps let her see you with an especially large toy that she doesn't use. Maybe she'll be curious, maybe she won't. That's the approach I'm trying ... it seems to slowly be working for me.

[latexgape]

it took me a while , but the main problem was my GF was trying to understand WHY i wanted this ... and then i said stop wondering and either enjoy it or not ..

she is scared a bit of damage to me , but i'm a beginner anyhow ..
but now we practice together , but it's my thing _ so i have to ask or be the motivation for large toys etc ..

i still see other people sometime , because i'm greeedy and sometimes like a girl (or guy) who is nast .. and my girl is not nasty .. just enjoys it ! ..

but she is getting better and trying to work it without understanding ...

[christophero1973]

Don't(!), if you live around Chicago, Ilinois, USA. The people here will quickly label you as gay. Chicagoians are mostly right-wingers and are quick to bash and label what they do not understand. Use caution. Good luck.

[t.j. the pimp]

Don't(!), if you live around Chicago, Ilinois, USA. The people here will quickly label you as gay. Chicagoians are mostly right-wingers and are quick to bash and label what they do not understand. Use caution. Good luck.

now that's just borderline (no wait) cross-the-board of discrimination. they're just afraid of new things

[dan druff 66]

Don't(!), if you live around Chicago, Ilinois, USA. The people here will quickly label you as gay. Chicagoians are mostly right-wingers and are quick to bash and label what they do not understand. Use caution. Good luck.

Why would I care if people from Chicago label me gay?

[christophero1973]

Well, if you are not gay, but people start running around saying you are, then you will loose your girlfriend and not be able to get another. Voice of experience.

[Guest deeply]

With Chicago on this one.

When it comes to telling girls about porn likes / dislikes, as well as sexual likes / dislikes, women are going to be naturally contrary and illogical in any social degree of conversation...

so it will take a lot of work and talk to eventually slip into this topic.

Also depends on her experience. Simply do some surveillance and some studying up on a girl's history, first... and make sure it's reliable. Edited April 10, 2010 by deeply

[nybound1111]

I think the best way to go about it is this. This is assuming you two have had sex, but the relationship is still in its beginnings. Start a conversation about sex, positions, lubes, whatever, and start SLOWLY pushing the envelope slightly further and further into kinkier stuff. If you make it far enough you can hint at it. Another way is to (if she likes it) watch porn with her, and maybe accidentally click on a girl using a strapon on a guy video. See how she takes it. Just remember the number one thing in a relationship is communication. So if you do end up being with her for a looooong time, would you really want to keep something you enjoy doing a secret for that amount of time? Also, if you end up living together, she's going to find out sooner or later by stumbling onto your toy stash. Now that would be a sticky situation!

[minx]

[quote name='deeply' date='10 April 2010 - 12:37 AM' timestamp='1270859866' post='175186']


When it comes to telling girls about porn likes / dislikes, as well as sexual likes / dislikes, women are going to be naturally contrary and illogical in any social degree of conversation...


[/quote]

Oi! I object! Not all women are naturally contrary and illogical, some of us have to work really hard at it!

[Guest deeply]

[quote name='Minx' date='18 May 2010 - 10:07 PM' timestamp='1274216846' post='180477']
Oi! I object! Not all women are naturally contrary and illogical, some of us have to work really hard at it!
[/quote]

Prime evidence: will turn any communication into an argument, even though it would be illogical to argue that a woman working really hard at being illogical, would naturally show her inclination.

[minx]

Yeah yeah Deeply.

I don't know if it will work the other way round but as a woman I've always found the best way to discuss or bring anything kinky into being is to talk about it whilst you're having really good sex. Even as a fairly open minded woman if a bloke just started a discussion about sex when I wasn't in the right frame of mind then even if I was interested in what he was saying he may well get a reply he wasn't happy with purely because of the timing. So, my advice is to wait until you've both had a couple of drinks and are feeling sexy and horny and are getting into really good sex, then bring it up. Talk dirty about it to her, tell her what would really turn you on and how she could do it to you and what she'd get from it.

Oh and be ready for her to just play with the idea for a while before you get any further.

Good luck!

[Guest deeply]

[quote name='Minx' date='01 June 2010 - 08:25 PM' timestamp='1275420303' post='182380']
Yeah yeah Deeply. [/quote]

Did that go over that female head, Minx?


[quote name='Minx' date='01 June 2010 - 08:25 PM' timestamp='1275420303' post='182380']I don't know if it will work the other way round but as a woman I've always found the best way to discuss or bring anything kinky into being is to talk about it whilst you're having really good sex.[/quote]

That's a bit like suggesting, "best way to get her interested... is to get her... INTERESTED!"

It again, depends on what subjection "really decent sex" would be prescribed to be, to an individual.

Why must sex be a gateway action to revel about a far more fetishistic pursuit? Oh, right... "catch her while she's euphoric."

How about with stable mind to make a rational decision? Oh, right... women CAN'T be in that frame of mind.

Whatever.

[quote name='Minx' date='01 June 2010 - 08:25 PM' timestamp='1275420303' post='182380']Even as a fairly open minded woman if a bloke just started a discussion about sex when I wasn't in the right frame of mind then even if I was interested in what he was saying he may well get a reply he wasn't happy with purely because of the timing.[/quote]

Maybe a better way would be with some other form of prompting, rather than verbal. Share that porn collection... give her some ideas.

Let her "stumble" into something environmentally opportune, or wait for her to start conversing about a similar subject matter.

[quote name='Minx' date='01 June 2010 - 08:25 PM' timestamp='1275420303' post='182380']So, my advice is to wait until you've both had a couple of drinks[/quote]

Does alcohol have to be used and abused as a form of social lubricant? Does it REALLY?

How about all those tee totals and alcoholics, that don't take to that kind of stuff?


[quote name='Minx' date='01 June 2010 - 08:25 PM' timestamp='1275420303' post='182380']and are feeling sexy and horny and are getting into really good sex, then bring it up. Talk dirty about it to her, tell her what would really turn you on and how she could do it to you and what she'd get from it. [/quote]

Talk dirty... or be passionate. Try and extract emotive importance... that always titillates women.

[quote name='Minx' date='01 June 2010 - 08:25 PM' timestamp='1275420303' post='182380']Oh and be ready for her to just play with the idea for a while before you get any further.
[/quote]

Yeah, women tease.