How much pressure is needed to get fist inside

[EVE 20]

Hi, I'm new in this forum.

Me and my boyfriend are very into anal play. I've started fisting him one month ago and I can get my hand to the wrist into his anus easily. One week ago we started trying to get my anus ready for fisting too, but now we got to a limit. He can shove in his 4 fingers plus the thumb after some stretching but then it doesnt go in further, I mean the knuckles dont fit into. He doesnt want to push harder because he doesnt want to injure me .

When I fisted him for the first time I didnt have to push that hard to get into (he had already experience in stretching his anus). He said that he felt a slight pain while I passed the anus with my knuckles but besides that it was no problem.
His hand is very slim for a man.
But when he tries to push his knuckles through my anus its a bit like a wall, he cant move further. As I said he doesnt push very hard, I dont feel any pain.

So my question is, if it generally needs a lot of force to get a hand into a beginners butt or should we perhaps buy a well-sized buttplug to train that muscle a bit more.
It's not the problem that I cant handle pain (I've some tattoos and various piercings ) but I'm a bit afraid of overstretching the anus.


I'm German, so my English is not that perfect, I hope you understand my problem.

Eva

PS: Yes, we use enough lube (even a very expensive one from the sexshop). Edited March 2, 2008 by EvE 20

[zerolagers]

Yes, train with a plug first.

You will find many good options here.

You should be able to fit a 8cm wide plug - without much problem - before trying a man's fist.
Like this one:

link

But yes, the pain experienced is part of the fun

Please post some pictures to let us know how this turns out for you. Edited March 2, 2008 by zero lagers

[anllover]

you have done very good explaining in english but thanks for letting us know. AND welcome to the board.

To answer your question I do not believe you need much force to get a fist in. You only need more practice and practice takes time. It is not good to rush this type thing.

I would have to agree using a toy to get stretched would be a better option to start with and once you are able to get your asshole bigger then maybe the fist. The reason I say this is because the fist have less give... and the knuckles are hard and protruding which will make it more painful. But there will be some pain while stretching but you need to try to understand the difference between gentle pain and unhealthy pain. LOTS OF LUBE as always.

A word of caution. If you see blood (not just pink but blood) take some time off... like a week. Better to heal completely than to keep aggravating it.

I have tried to spell everything correctly so IF you do not understand you can use an online translator to make into german.

good luck and feel free to ask more questions if you still have them... and yes some pics or vids (of either of you) would also be great. Many here would love to see you fist your BF and most would like to see you get fisted.

[alongeasy]

try use INFLATABLE DILDO. Buy the MONSTER Size instead. This will ensure that u can be expand slowly and widely.

[EVE 20]

Thanks for the answers, guys!

8 cm sound very big, the largest plug in our favourote sexshop is about 6 cm . Unfortunately I dont know really how big the first buttplug should be. My boyfriend says, that we should already buy at least a 6cm soft jelly plug, to get my butthole a bit larger. But I think if I can see those things in real I can choose easier. Perhaps we should visit another shop tomorrow with more bigger plugs.

I'm really not going to rush this thing and I think that we are on the right way because my asshole has never been bleeding because of stretching or anal sex.

Sorry guys, but me and my boyfriend dont want to load up photos or videos to the internet. I know that the chance to get recognized by personally known peole is very small, but I wouldnt have a good feeling about it.

[anllover]

we all totally understand your NOT wanting to upload pics or vids and we will respect that. if you anyone give you grief let a moderator know (me tangerine or gninori) and we will look into is asap.

As for seeing the toy I agree it makes it a much easier choice to see what you are getting first. I am not sure about where you are at but here the best stores for larger sex toys are the gay ones. I lean more to the straight side but I do enjoy going into the local sex stores. Always a good time.

If you cannot find what you are looking for maybe you should look for very large cucumbers at the grocery store. That is how I started before I got my big toys. The best is when you get one end a bit big and the other end even bigger. That way once you get the smaller big end in the further you go the better but slow stretch you will get. Then once very warmed up turn it around and pop the big end in.... uuuhmmmmmmm good times.

sounds like you are on the right track. have fun and please let us know if you have any other questions or comments.

[marci]

And what about your pelvic bones? Ok, maybe there are few women with contracted, narrow pelvis, but if you are small or if you have a slender waist, pelvis...

[torpedro]

Thanks for the answers, guys!

8 cm sound very big, the largest plug in our favourote sexshop is about 6 cm . Unfortunately I dont know really how big the first buttplug should be. My boyfriend says, that we should already buy at least a 6cm soft jelly plug, to get my butthole a bit larger. But I think if I can see those things in real I can choose easier. Perhaps we should visit another shop tomorrow with more bigger plugs.
...

Thank you for sharing your experience!
Try this shop, they have wonderfull stuff to great prices:
http://dildoking.de/

I also think that his hand may be bigger than your, or not?

Greetings,
Torpedro

[jorgon]

Start with one of 6 diameter and then the 7 one.

I will recommend you a 7cm diameter butt plug made of jelly material. It's a soft material and with a shape of cone it's perfect for fitting inside you. From 7 cm ofdiameter a male hand can enter in practically every anus. I can fist by myself till the wrist thanks to insert previously a 7 cm diameter butt-plug. With my first one of 6cm I couldn't make it possible, but the 6 one prepared to me for the 7 one...I think it's clear what I mean.

Maybe the 6 one hurts you, but ask for your boyfriend help you using her fingers to dilate you. When you can insert the 6 one, try with the 7 one. And then try with your lucky boyfriend hand...

Step by step.

It's a fantastic game and your boyfriend is really really lucky.

Bye!

[EVE 20]

Wednesday me and my boyfriend finally bought a 6cm soft-jelly plug at the sexshop (ORION) and
tried it out at our place. After some stretching I could take about 4/5 of it but the last cm was
a bit too large. Yesterday we tried again, but this time I stimulated myself with a vibrator
while inserting it to get my anus more relaxed. And it really worked, finally the whole plug was
in. I was really reliefed (and quite proud) after it slid in over the whidest point, because this
last cm was quite painful. After it was in the pain was gone, so I left it inside about 5
minutes. After that we took it out and inserted it 2 more times to get my butt used to it. We
will do this now for the next weeks till my butt can take this toy easily.
Of course we also tried it at my boyfriend's ass too, after some stretching it actually slid into
easily .

Really thanks for the good tip with the buttplug.

If you cannot find what you are looking for maybe you should look for very large cucumbers at the grocery store. That is how I started before I got my big toys. The best is when you get one end a bit big and the other end even bigger. That way once you get the smaller big end in the further you go the better but slow stretch you will get. Then once very warmed up turn it around and pop the big end in.... uuuhmmmmmmm good times.

Isnt it difficult to insert them because of their raw surface? Those jelly material really slides in so easy. But perhaps we will really try out some fruits too .

[EVE 20]

And what about your pelvic bones? Ok, maybe there are few women with contracted, narrow pelvis, but if you are small or if you have a slender waist, pelvis...

I dont think that the pelvis-bones where in the way, I think it was my anus, that was not ready yet.

Thank you for sharing your experience!
Try this shop, they have wonderfull stuff to great prices:
http://dildoking.de/

I also think that his hand may be bigger than your, or not?

Greetings,
Torpedro

Yes, it's true that his hand is a bit larger then mine, but as I said his hand is very slim for a man's hand, so we are optimistic that I can finally take his hand one day . I also took a look at the homepage of that "dildoking", they really have an enourmous variety of toys. Nevertheless I prefer to see the real thing before buying, I really love shopping with my boyfriend. Are there also some real shops of this dildoking or is it just an online shop?


@jorgon: What, you can take in your own fist? Even if i could slide it in easily my wrist is far not flexible enought to bend in such an angle. Do you put your arm throught between your legs or over the back to get it in there? (I hope you can understand what I mean)

It's a fantastic game and your boyfriend is really really lucky.

I'm also very happy that I met him, since that my life has changed so much

[anllover]

cucumbers insert with rather great ease

[justinfoo]

well my top just shoves his fist in whether im ready or not idk if thats bad or not but i enjoy it even tho it hurts alot and theres slight bleeding

[jorgon]

Eve, it's true that the self-fisting is not evident neither easy. You have to get practise and a lot of tryings.
I make that not between my legs by my penis, although I've watched some videos where well dilated boys fist by themselves. I do it over the back. I'm stand up and leave my butt sit on my hand which I support on a washbasin. It's true that I curve my wrist to adequate the direction of the insertion. And my hand initially is positioned with the fingers together in a cone form...At the same time my hand is entering, taking care I close my hand forming now and step by step the shape of a fist and how the total lenght is reduced I can even introduce ALL MY HAND TILL THE WRIST.

After, I can take out my closed fist and the pleasure is total. And even more: if inmediatly I introduce my hand with the closed fist shape It can enter not without a bit difficult but finally enters giving me a total sensation of complete filling and pleasure.

As I have read by other place (or web) it's a way to find a complete relax. If I want to have a great orgasm I've got to insert a big big Thing (around 7 cm diameter or my hand ). But the final relaxing is 4 times better and lasting. My legs shaking and at the same time really really relaxed.

Unfortunately I still haven't found a girl who can make me fill this...But I'm still looking for someone.

Thank you and if you have any other question, please, I will be love to answer your questions of you and your boyfriend.

Bye!

[EVE 20]

[z]Unfortunately I still haven't found a girl who can make me fill this...But I'm still looking for someone. [/z]

I might be wrong, but I think that much more women would consider this (being the active part) than men think.


One question:

Does the anus get gegressed after a long "anal stretching-free" time, so u have to restart at a lower level like body-building or is the anus a muscle that doesn't loose its won flexibility?

[spidernose]

Another thing is.... I take it you are a female. Your hand is probably a good deal smaller than his.
Also I will re-state what everyone else has said. Take your time. Go slow. Work your way up
to larger and larger plugs/dildos. It'll go baby. And when it does you will be in heaven.

PS... I wish I had a woman willing to fist me!!!

[jorgon]

Women I've known till now are really traditional and conservative...In fact, I have two lifes as you can imagine at this moment right now: my public life and my private life and they are very separate and different...If I tell some of this to a girlfriend...This could creat a serious problem for me...

Respect the anus normal state after a hard anal play...I will say that it depends on how much have you play and how long have you play with your anus. For instance: if you stretch far away your normal limits during a short moments it won't cause permanent effect. If you play during a lot of time and stretching far away your normal limits this will cause a gain in your capabilities to stretch in the next season.

In the last case, theres something I like very much...The aspect of your anus change in state of rest because it has an appearance near to the Kirk Johnson anus and other porn actresses and, to tell you the truth, it excites to me so muchhh!!!

And how I don't feel any awakeness or lack in capabilities to retain excrements...I continue playing and even trying larger stretchings...It's true that men have less separation between the muscles of our bottoms and these muscles help tu mantain the anus well closed. Maybe this is the reason why I haven't ever had any problem of incontinence (which is the first concern of beginners in hard anal play) and maybe girls don't have luck in this term...But girls have the luck of their hability of the prolapse due to their bones constitution and this is another reason to continue the practise of hard anal play.

Anyway, if some people coulad have problems of incontinence could wash the interior of their anus early in the morning and could forget any related problem with this for the rest of the day...Maybe an enema or a light lavative...And even if you are into these themes additionaly better!!

I recommend you play step by step and enjoy every second when you were filled...It's a great sensation...And causes one of the best relaxing moments...And of course, the best orgasms!!

Good bye and thank you for share your experiences...

[EVE 20]

Thanks for the detailed explanation. I've read some articles and posts about anal fisting and nearly all of them say it would not lead to disfunctions if it was done carefully and slow. And I think after my boyfriend can put his hand through my anus we wont do any wider stretching, it's not my goal to get a baskettball up there .
We already have lots of pleasure with the 6cm-plug, although (or because) it's really exhausting to get it in and out, I get really sweaty after some stretching.

I must agree, the "state of rest" feels really good, my boyfriend says that my anus looks like it was breathing after the plug is pulled out (this is called gaping, right?) Nevertheless after some pause it's looking like a "virgin" butthole again and thats fine with me. Edited March 15, 2008 by EvE 20

[epi]

Hey Eva, meine Freundin ist ungefähr so alt wie du, sehr zierlich gebaut, ich habe eher kleine Hände, und wir kommen auch bis zu den Handknöcheln, dann ist Schluss, das Problem sind bei uns die (oh gott, anatomie 6) "arschknochen", und da kann man wohl auch nix dran ändern, es sei denn man gebärt ein Kind, und das hatten wir eigentlich nicht vor.

For the english-speaking users:
Same Problem with my GF, pelvic bones are in the way.