a little venting about either a catfish or missed connection

[NeutralOmen]

As I get older, my fetish for extreme anal training only gets more intense. The time span in between willing subs gets longer. Even among willing subs, most have been more generally submissive and compliant rather than actively into the training(not that i'm complaining. I'm very grateful for any trainee with any degree of enthusiasm).

Needless to say, it's a very rare fetish to find in women(GOD I wish I were gay sometimes), and I just experienced a major bummer.

At first, I thought it was a catfish. I have been catfished quite a few times by the same MO!. Apparently it's very popular for gay men to masquerade specifically as young Asian women with an ass destruction fetish. They extract dirty talk from a straight guy, then when they're asked to verify they're real, they block you. this specific thing happened to me like three times over the last five years. 

This time around, the person I was talking to was a transmasculine queer non-binary. Born female, had top surgery, but not a trans man. Picture like, young Michael Sera with a big lady ass and a vagina. Definitely in my wheelhouse of attraction! Anyway, this person matched me on Feeld, and immediately referenced my reference to being a dominant fisting/hole stretching trainer. 

Off the bat, this is a red flag that I'm talking to a gay man in disguise. That said, my defenses were down because, again, if you're doing that, why not masquerade as a woman who would be typically attractive to straight men? This is why I thought they were authentic. Also, despite being very sexually forward with me, they texted like someone born female. Not to sound problematic. It's just sort of an instinct from a lifetime of interacting with people. I hope nobody takes that sentiment the wrong way. I'm just trying to explain that there was enough counter-evidence to tentatively convince me. 

This person purported to be queer, poly, with multiple partners, looking specifically to explore a hidden anal fisting fetish they had been nursing for years. We had a series of conversations where I was asked in detail what was involved in safe training, enemas, what kinds of humiliation I would subject them to, etc. I continually checked in the make sure I wasn't scaring them off or being too explicit. If anything, they kept coming back for more.  Suffice it to say, NOTHING...and I mean nothing, feels better than being able to talk openly about extreme anal destruction with a submissive who is independently into it. It makes me feel like I'm 15 again. I was jerking off like THREE times as much as usual from the sheer excitement that my dream may finally come true...

They made plans with me for this past Friday. The day before, I was shopping for a dog collar for them at their request. I texted to confirm our plans to meet in Manhattan. They said "sorry, one of my partners has a family emergency and I'm flying out of town this weekend." My heart droppped. I assumed that was that. that i'd never hear from them again. I sent a supportive text, believing them in good faith and asking point blank if they still wanted to meet, or if they had second thoughts. They responded "I'm still very interested, just nervous :)"

I sent a reassuring message asking if there was anything further I could do to make them feel safe and in control of their agency while being dominated, and wished them safe travels. 

Then on Friday night, they message me again, saying they have a whole evening at the airport and are fantasizing about being used again. They asked for a series of photos of the toys I planned to use. It didn't feel like a "picture hunter" because it was just my hand holding the toys and describing them. Again, another 2 or so hours of sexting on and off, with their reassurance that they will contact me after their trip with their partner. 

I was over the moon. This was not someone who merely wanted to follow my lead. The more I talked about leaving them with a permanently loose, broken shithole, the more excited they got, and the more they asked me to keep going. I KNOW I didn't frighten this person. 

Sure enough, about an hour after they "took flight," they left the chat. couldn't see the chat. profile face greyed out. Vanished. 

I was devastated. Just because...It's been maybe 6 or 7 years since my ex who had a fisting fetish, and before her I waited a lifetime. 

In all likelihood, it was in fact a gay man using stolen photos, got his rocks off, then bounced. It's just so strange that this person approached a straight man as a post-op transmasc NB. Maybe it was all about adding plausibility?

It is because of this that there is a possibility this was real, and perhaps they were telling the truth, and were at the airport with one of their partners in distress, then perhaps the partner found out they spend their time sexting with a straight guy, and was compelled to disconnect?

Maybe they did get scared afterall, even after driving the convo and goading me to go harder. 

Don't get me wrong, friends. Like I always warn this thread, we must not see the world through rosebutt colored glasses. Option 1 is the most likely. Regardless, it just really sucks. It felt SO real and I felt SO close. 

The search continues. 

I hope to find my "analgirlolive/Vixenmoon/mercilessanalacrobat" whom I can call my own someday. A woman who is REALLY into it regardless of the presence of a dominant with the fetish. A guy can dream. 

Thanks for reading.

your pal,
neutralomen

Edited February 11 by NeutralOmen