Living with pets ?

[Dats]

Hi everyone,

Been a member for more than 10 years but I haven't been here in quite a long time. Looking for a bit of advice from pet owners. What do you do with your pets while you're engaging in some playtime?

Maybe some backstory is required. I've actually been in a (very vanilla) relationship for a few years. Even the thought of just anal sex or anything remotely kinky was repulsive to her, so obviously I didn't mention my fetishes or any of this stuff to her. I may have missed it a little bit if I'm being honest, but I was happy so I was fine with it. But recently things weren't working anymore and a while back we decided to split up, a mutual decision and we ended things on good terms. And now that I'm single again, I wouldn't mind getting back in the game and have some anal play fun.

However right before we broke up, like a lot of couples desperately trying to save a struggling relationship, we added an additional member to the family to try to fix things. So we got ourselves a dog, a puppy. After we broke up, we decided that since the dog was much more attached to me than to her, that I would keep the dog. Which I couldn't be happier about, I've never had any pets growing up and before this I didn't know I could have such a close bond with an animal.

But he's so attached to me that when I am at home I have zero privacy. He literally follows me everywhere I go. I can't go to the bathroom or take a shower without him following me, staring at everything that I do. And since I didn't have any pets before in my life, it makes me pretty uncomfortable to do any sort of "private" things with those puppy eyes constantly looking at me. If I put him in another room he'll howl so loud the neighbours can hear him and he won't stop until he's with me again. Just jacking off in peace seems like a huge task these days, so I have no idea how I could possibly have some undisturbed anal playtime for myself...

Is this relatable for any of you and how do you deal with it?

[elirian]

Well, first off, sorry to hear about the breakup! But also congratulations on keeping the doggie. I love dogs. Though I do understand the challenge of finding some time to yourself when you have a dog, especially a puppy that wants lots of attention. Honestly, it's probably just going to take some time for him to get used to the new situation if you've only recently split up with your partner. Setting rules for space with a dog can be a long process - pick an area of the house that you think is going to be a good place for your dog to be comfortable with/somewhere they can be for a long period of time (this is also helpful with training them to be alone while you're at work or out with friends/dates/etc), and confine them to that area using either a door or maybe one of those portable baby gates. Start by leaving him there for short periods of time, like while you're in the shower, and then as the dog gets more accustomed to being by himself you can start extending that time. Crate training can help too, though not all dogs respond as well to the crate as others. Good luck, and welcome back!

[Glasg0wR0se]

On 12/20/2019 at 7:23 PM, Dats said:

If I put him in another room he'll howl so loud the neighbours can hear him and he won't stop until he's with me again.

ok, so before I could give you advice on how to remedy your situation, it would be useful to know a few things...

1) how old is your dog now?

2) how old was your dog when you got him/her?

3) how long did your dog live with the two of you before the breakup/change of circumstance?

4) do you work from home/what do you do when you have to be out of the house, and how does your dog react to that?

so, one of the hardest things, especially for first time dog owners, is teaching your dog to be alone. but it's very important. if your neighbours are an issue (we had a puppy in a shared building, so trust me, I know how stressful it can be) the best thing to do is to speak to them. let them know times when you're going to be working on separation and that during those times your dog will be howling. if possible, even arrange those times around their schedule so they're not at home while you're doing it. and then it's a matter of building up the amount of time your dog can be alone. crate training can be very useful, but once you start it's important to persevere with it. at first, your dog might not like it. ours didn't. but now, seven years later, we still have the crate (we never close the gate) because she uses it as intended - it's her space where she can sleep or just chill out. so the rewards in the short term - being able to leave your dog alone; easier housetraining - plus the long term benefits make it a win-win. but as I say, you have to stick with it through the initial period of resistance that most dogs go through.

that being said, everyone's situation is different. however, dogs that develop severe separation anxiety are not happy dogs. they're not even really happy when they're with you because the anxiety of being apart never really goes away. and an anxious dog can be a destructive dog when alone and an aggressive dog when out in the world.  so it's an issue that really needs to be dealt with early if at all possible.

 

[AzFrNick]

Dogs need to be crate trained and be able to stay in their crates with food and water for a while. A friend has hers crated when she's at work and she does a lot of rescue.

If you're against that, train them to be away in a different room without bothering you, whining or barking.

Dogs can always learn new tricks, even when they're old.

My dog has never bothered me when I play either solo or when I have someone because she's locked in a room. I then clean up the play area with detergents and she will not get near because of the smell,so no risk of her doing something like licking "something" that could have dropped on the floor.

 

[TinyNutsTim]

You would be surprised what leash training can accomplish. It probably is not following you around and whining at the door when you leave without him due to separation anxiety, he just thinks he is the leader and is confused. Dogs don't think like us, they are pack members which is a completely different and simpler culture.

Maybe a much younger dog for the current one to help "train" might help, too. It will give him another member of the "pack" to be with. This may not work with abused dogs that are emotionally damaged, though, that takes much more work. Not saying that is the case here, though.

Look up some Dog Whisperer episodes, he knows what he is doing.