good morning, guys!
This is indeed a very sensitive topic. I totally agree with Rosebutt- we are talking about two different things. ONE is having a healthy anal related and mostly autoerotic relationship with your naughty, greedy and hungry hole. TWO is a normal loving, sexual fulfilling and and caring relationship with your significant other. I think 90% of us are in this situation. Only a small minority is really into heavy darkroom-clinic play ( speaking for myself, I would not readily let others do to my asshole what I do to it! ) On the other hand, not all of us are engaged in a serious relationship with a person interested in our assholes as we are. Sad but true!
The Question is now how to squre these two points. I don't like the closet approach - (hiding real secrets from my wife might quickly become a habit! ) so we worked out a compromise. Since she is not in principle against anal sex and enjoys a good assfuck herself from time to time, she is not against returning the favor to me- a finger or three, a biggish strapon etc. - as part of our normal bedroom routine. Not as often as I would like it, but regularly enough.
She does know that I take much bigger things up my ass and I don't need to hide my MrHankeys from her, but that's just not her thing, so I do the stretching and getting filled up part on my own- either if she's away, or even if she's busy with a book or social media surfing.
Since that's how I started my assplay 30 years ago in the first place- alone and exploring my limits- that's okay for me.
That's how we keep our balance- accepting each others needs, but not forcing too much.
Of course I sometimes fantasize how great it would be to have a bossy, bitchy, merciless anal domina as my relevant other... but then again, sometimes i fantasize about having a Bugatti Veyron, but that's not how life works.
Greetings!
