Ill admit that I wrote that in a moment of frustration. While my marriage is far from what I hold in my fantasies its good in most aspects, but ebs and flows as any relationship generally does. Its a complicated matter but she needs me so I stay with her. Also, the grass isn't necessarily always greener on the other side and dating in a smallish town in your 30s where your now ex also dates would be a challenge in itself.
I also hold out some hope that things will get better despite the contrary being true. She has indulged me in anal play before but for the past year due to having a kid, sex has all but gone down to once per month, if I'm lucky. She's also got the perspective that sex is about achieving an orgasm as quickly as possible in order to achieve relief and that taking longer than necessary to get to orgasm ends up in frustration due to a waning interest.
However she's mostly okay with my solo play. She isn't enthusiastic about it per se, but she doesn't prevent me from having ny solo time either.
I don't know. It's all very complicated and while I'd love to walk away and try to find a partner that I connect with better sexually, what new problems will I have chasing such a life? How would that decision affect everyone around me that I still care for?
I'll leave it at this. Mental health issues affect the victim but also affect those around you. If you can afford it, please seek therapy to better your situation.
Also recognize that anal play isn't okay with everyone and that people hold a variety of opinions on the matter, some more close minded than others and when opening up about something so vulnerable one should be careful in doing so due to the possibility of rejection. Set your expectations low and your expectations will always be exceeded.