Hi Lord Odie I'm a really big fan of your work. Have you some plan for what comming next?
To give you an idea of howmuch of a fan I am : you love to use a lot precise but imperial mesure to describe holes and thing that are forced inside. Well I wasn't used to this kind of unit when I started to read you. So each time a measure was given in your story, I was pausing my reading, taking out my calculator to compute how much this asswas gaping in centimeter. But then had my number in metric units and I was like "Is that much more than the number he gave just before?" and i had to look for a ruller to have an idea of how much it was compared to the number given before. That made me realize that my imagination is not numerical at all.
So next time i put a ruller next to my computer before starting reading and by the time I reached the chapter 11 of your Proper annal etiquette I had no problems to fastly convert inch to centimeters in my head.
Your work is really cool and quite unique. Seriously if anyone know about other stories of perverted extreme utopia, I really want to know it too.
Yet I think about two thing that can be better : first all that numbers. It's something amazing that you can have such a clear idea of what you are describing but I don't take number as really striking imagination, esspecially when thay are so manyof them. I mean I think it's a bit easier for a lazy the mind like mine to imagine a woman with perfecly round breasts that most of the time hide her navel trying to shove in her ass a dildo as large as her thigh than to imagine a woman with 37 I cup round breasts trying to shove in her ass a dildo a 6 inch dildo. I think you would get better result by restraining yourself to just a few measure for were it's really needed and for the reste use relative size, and prioritize comparaison with other part of the body of the woman you are describing. Or use both when you really want to strike the reason and the imagination at the same time.
If you are still interessted in what I'm saying after this I have an other and more general suggestion. It's something I have noticed in every sci-fi or fantasy story i read I think it apply to what you are writting to. The idea of those story is alway to show you thing that arn't usual at all for you like fireball, dragon, spaceship or 8 inch wide dildo in your case. And in those world most people find perfectly usual to fight it, use it, put it in an ass, or throw it. But in every story I can remembre it alway happen stuff that is not usual at all neither in our world nor in the fictional world like the hero gain strange power, survive to insta death spell, an evil being apear and fuck up everything etc... But not i your story, here, everything is usual, thereis little suprise but nothing that will put the protagonist out of their comfort zone. Even for the new of the chem that make boobs grow, the biggest reaction is a "Ho, poop.". That deny the reader the experience of "ok, you've blown my mind but I know it's nothing compared to what's comming because now even the wierdo are shitting bricks".
I think it would be a great thing if you could know what to show to the Wilder's to make them "What the fuck I'm seeing? It would be great if it was real, and I fear it is." or something like that.
Last point I deeply apologize to give you advice on writing with this poor grammar. I'm not native english speaker and I don't know how to set the language of my browser spell checker. I still hope you will find something usefull here.
