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opening up finally to my wife


Guest groovydude29m
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Guest groovydude29m
finally told my wife and suprise she into it more than me ,showed her my toys i had locked in my safe ,told her it all she was shocked but in a couple days she already had her fist in my ass ,than next night ,now shes on some dominant ruin my hole kick ,she already baught a strapon harness,she wont let my ass close .i thaught shed be in shock ,but i think im the one thats shocked . but im just happy were so much closer both 110 percent satisfied and more in love .
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[quote name='jasonstorm149' date='03 March 2013 - 12:24 AM' timestamp='1362288257' post='748758']
Lucky you. My wife knows about my ass play, but does not know how often I do it, how much I LOVE it, and how extreme I take it (size-wise). She thinks it's gross...
[/quote]

Same here. She knows I play but has no CLUE about the extent I take it to, I.e. pumping, plugging, etc. she'd be... Taken aback, that's for sure.
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Good luck to you, guys! Ever tried to get your wifes interested in doing you with a strap-on? that was the entrance for my wife, because just watching me did not turn her on. That strap on can become larger and bigger over time, when she's got used to it.... worked for me with my ex-wife, at least.
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[quote name='P.A.Frenum' date='03 March 2013 - 10:05 AM' timestamp='1362323119' post='749070']
Good luck to you, guys! Ever tried to get your wifes interested in doing you with a strap-on? that was the entrance for my wife, because just watching me did not turn her on. That strap on can become larger and bigger over time, when she's got used to it.... worked for me with my ex-wife, at least.
[/quote]

My wife is REALLY cool and loves getting ass fucked but she has NO interest in MY ass whatsoever. And to be perfectly honest, my masturbation and anal play belong to ME. I've been playing since I was 5 years old and it has been my "thing" since WELL before I got interested in women and having sex with them. I've always, as an adult, considered myself to have TWO sex lives- that with my wife and that with myself. Both are equally fulfilling: whether I'm balls-deep in my wife's mouth, ass or pussy or have my fist wrist-deep in my own asshole.
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Guest loungingniceguy
[quote name='ctkink' date='02 March 2013 - 02:51 PM' timestamp='1362257479' post='748548']
finally told my wife and suprise she into it more than me ,showed her my toys i had locked in my safe ,told her it all she was shocked but in a couple days she already had her fist in my ass ,than next night ,now shes on some dominant ruin my hole kick ,she already baught a strapon harness,she wont let my ass close .i thaught shed be in shock ,but i think im the one thats shocked . but im just happy were so much closer both 110 percent satisfied and more in love .
[/quote]



I don't think I could ever muster up the balls, (no pun intended)to actually tell my wife. She is WAY too conservative to ever hear anything about my ass pumping, anal stretching and dildo play. I have thousands of pix/videos all on disks packed away, not on our computer, just in case she happens to accidentally come across them.
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My wife is cool with my anal play knows of the toy sizes etc, has watched me play with the large ones she's fisted me a few times but will only use a "normal" sized dildo in the stapon harness. Currently this morning she had me put on the buttplug harness with her strapon dildo in it so it would be like she was doing me all day she checks to make sure im still wearing it whenever i walk by her. Nice thing of wearing a kilt around the house makes it easier for her to check. lol
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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest groovydude29m
i was shocked because she told me shes had a dom fantasies for about 5 or 6 years now shes fantasied about strapon sex .in this whole time ive play secretly with huge toys to alot more past her idea.shes been hinting with can i put a finger to see how the orgasm is and ive said no because i didnt want her to see the damage lol.but i finally said im sick of hiding it i kida thaught she was a secret dom .she told me recently before i came out with secret ,that she also fantasied about woman but wanted to strapon and dom her at this point realized she was a dom so i just went for it .she was so excepting but def,confused with it all exspecially size .also she was confused on if i was bi ,i just explained it the honest and best way i could ,that i enjoy the stimulation and im not bi or interested in men .but a woman with a big cock hot as hell,so with her just stumped i just kept reashuring we were ok and in love ,and she finally told me her secret about dominating me ,her bitch .so the first time we played she wanted it as much as me,when she started it made her hot but she got off more realizing she could fit her fist and she really showed no mercy kinda shocked me .....now shes geared towards ruining my ass ,she demands i be good to receive her fist ,she looked into femdom ,and now she sometimes lets me fuck her pussy most times just her ass ,she uses big toys in her pussy and says i dont make it feel as good ,but im ok with that .im not huge and enjoy her letting me work her pussy with big toys .i like her ass more still tight lol.i cant cumm alone only with her when she says so im horny 24/7 now .dont know were it will all end up but were closer than ever and our marriage is so much healthier no fights ,im so releived its been years carrying this secret ,and her to ,we turned out to be a perfect match ,but timing was a def thing she said if this was 5 years earlier she might have lost it ..she wasnt ready ..so just keep slow hints ,make sure you think there understanding and have that similar fetish ,this was a gamble 50/50 i could have made our marriage stronger or ended it just as fast .in my end im happy it worked out just be careful guys ....
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  • 4 months later...
  • 4 weeks later...
Great feeling when you can share such an intimate thing as ass play with your wife, it really makes the bond even stronger. After a couple of years relationship she now knows the whole truth about my ass play.

I have been playing with my ass since i was a teenager and quickly realized that my ass could stretch easily used deo cans and shampoo bottles any thing that was at home at the time. When I got out of house i bought a big dildo, think it was 7cm diameter, too use on my ass. I so loved doing it but when i got in a relationship with my girlfriend 5 years ago i threw the dildo away.

After a few months relationship i started asking if she would finger my ass. She didn't had any problem with that and it was great. I think she released i was quite loose because after a couple of years when she was massaging my back she got kinky and started playing with my ass and before I knew she had her whole fist in and that was awesome.

Still it wasn't often she would do that and so when I am showering alone I would take a bottle to penetrate my ass in secret. I realized that something had to change. Bottles had often sharp edges and that would bleed. So last month I started buying some toys(see toys list below) and lube. It was something that I would not keep a secret from my wife. I started showing off with the butt plug. One day when she got home after work I asked if she could help me removed something from my ass and she took out my butt plug with a lot of amazement. She probably didn't directly know what to feel and started laughing out loud but she quickly enjoyed herself with putting it back in and out.

When I showed her the big dildos she didn't realized when I said big it meant this large. First time use with her was under the shower. I used the smaller x-man dildo and she would penetrate me with it after a while I put the dildo on the shower wall and go wild while i masturbate. That was such a great experience. I knew I could take a large dildo but those large falcon balls was a real challenge. Today I got them all in and showed it off to my wife when she pulled it out it left her amazed and bewildered.

Toys list

[url="http://www.willie.nl/nsnovelties/i_7060-renegade-torpedo-anaalplug-iii.aspx?q=torpedo "]Renegade torpedo butt plug large 12,5cm x 6cm[/url]
[url="http://www.willie.nl/x-men/i_2132-x-man-dildo-32cm.aspx?q=x-man "]X-Man Dildo 32cm x 5,5cm[/url]
[url="http://www.willie.nl/x-men/i_2134-x-man-dildo-335cm.aspx?q=x-man"]X-Man Dildo 33,5cm x 7cm[/url]
[url="http://www.willie.nl/iconbrands/i_7575-falcon-anaal-ballen-zwart.aspx?q=falcon "]Falcon anal balls large 52cm length with 5 balls of 5 cm wide[/url] Edited by brashen
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  • 3 years later...
  • 1 year later...

My wife, 13 years at this time,  found my toys, we talked and I tried to get her into it. She is way too conservative though. She has tried but I could tell it was forced and she was weirded out (I do like the extreme stretch). So I stopped trying. Kids are out of house now and I have found more time to get back into it. I am going to try the strap on approach. She said the prep time before was too long and got her out of mood. Now I will hit her up after my secret play session whilst I'm still clean and lubed. That's if she's in the mood. That's my story any way. Still in progress

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 years later...

Yeah, I know right! Cool as fuck ain't it? This is call, winning the lottery1  The exception and not the norm. That will be the only one you win so, ya better do what's right!

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  • 1 month later...

I didn't find out about my boyfriends play until 3 years into our now 4 year relationship. He was so scared I'd judge him, think he's gay or in general think differently of him. He became partially prolapsed due to a spinal injury, and subsequent medications and constipation. He thought he was damaged and something was wrong with him. It wasn't until I came home on my lunch one day, and caught him in the shower did he lay it all out for me. at first I felt betrayed, that I was living with a stranger. It hurt, not going to lie. But I assured him that there is nothing wrong with him. He shares with me his desires to fully prolapse and get it out because at this point it was inevitable. Since 11/2019 we've been fisting, pumping, plugging 2-3x week and have made some amazing progress!

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It has been difficult opening up to my wife. She is a few years older then me and from a more conservative family. She will fist me, but it is never a intimate giving of my body that I want to have with another person. She is grossed out by the idea of me pushing out my prolapse and when I told her I wanted a long prolapse hanging out of me. That did not end too well. So I play and pump in the shower but she will fist me on the occasion.

 

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12 hours ago, Daddy's Little Helper said:

I didn't find out about my boyfriends play until 3 years into our now 4 year relationship. He was so scared I'd judge him, think he's gay or in general think differently of him. He became partially prolapsed due to a spinal injury, and subsequent medications and constipation. He thought he was damaged and something was wrong with him. It wasn't until I came home on my lunch one day, and caught him in the shower did he lay it all out for me. at first I felt betrayed, that I was living with a stranger. It hurt, not going to lie. But I assured him that there is nothing wrong with him. He shares with me his desires to fully prolapse and get it out because at this point it was inevitable. Since 11/2019 we've been fisting, pumping, plugging 2-3x week and have made some amazing progress!

My fiance and I had a fairly similar experience, she found a bottle of lube I accidentally left out 4 years into our relationship. She was definitely less pissed once I explained what was really going on and that I wasn't like, cheating on her or anything, but she was still pretty mad I kept something from her for so long. We haven't really had a chance to actually play together at all since then (we moved in with my parents so I could finish my degree), but we're at least able to talk about it a little more. I'm still learning to be better about opening up that stuff, which is hard since I've kept it a secret for most of my life, but things are certainly improving and I am looking forward to moving back into our own place so we can have a little more freedom to play.

This is sort of off-topic, but I'm curious about how your boyfriend's injury has impacted playtime. Do you have to be more careful to not overextend if he's already partially prolapsed?

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 4/15/2020 at 6:50 PM, Glasg0wR0se said:

was it worth telling her? what was it that made you open up to her about it?

All in all yes, definitely worth being honest. We have been to marriage counselors and even a sex therapist who studies addiction. Apparently I am a addict? And according to one counselor I am touching in the realm of deviant behavior. Needless to say I was really offended by that and spoke with another counselor about it. He assured us that this is NOT deviant and more of a fetish. So we come to a compromise, she fist me every now and then and that's about it. No sexy talk and little intimacy. But that's what I got. 

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ooft. that sounds like a lot of therapy/counselling to wind up more or less where you were before.

it always bothers me when people suggest therapy as a solution because so much of your outcome is determined by the therapist that you go to. many people have been badly damaged by 'therapists' and 'cousellors' and in many places a person can offer these services without having been through any kind of proper training. they're making their money without any concern for the fact that they're messing with people's lives and seriously jeopardising their mental health.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 4/24/2020 at 6:02 PM, Glasg0wR0se said:

ooft. that sounds like a lot of therapy/counselling to wind up more or less where you were before.

it always bothers me when people suggest therapy as a solution because so much of your outcome is determined by the therapist that you go to. many people have been badly damaged by 'therapists' and 'cousellors' and in many places a person can offer these services without having been through any kind of proper training. they're making their money without any concern for the fact that they're messing with people's lives and seriously jeopardising their mental health.

 

it also depends on the sexual nature of the therapist.  If she's only done vanilla sex then it's "deviant" to her! Not to us. lol.  half of the time they became therapists to figure out their own shit.  To be labeled deviant is a term used to describe the behaviors of the "norm" and if it's outside the "norm" for male sexuality it technically qualifies as deviant.  However, deviant does not mean bad.  If a male only likes missionary with the lights off strictly for the purpose of procreation, technically he's "deviant" as well.  That doesn't make either one a good or a bad person.  It's just a category meaning outside the norm.  I think the term "deviant" has been overused to describe bad behavior, which is why we have the negative association with the word "deviant".  If that's the case, I will wear the term proudly with a badge.

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