dead cheap and hassle free food.

[prolaptotron]

following on from my critically acclaimed pot noodle thread i figured i would go into some alternatives that you might want to try;-

if you are anything like me then you really could not give a shit about food, i get hungry, i want some quick and easy nourishment so i can get back to whatever it was i was busy with at the time. i know for you french guys this is blasphemy and you like nothing better than shaving enough frogs testicles to make an onion sandwich followed by horse scrotum a la garlic served in snail shells or some other culinary delight of yours... but me, whilst i enjoy the odd meal, i can easily do without the hassle.

So first up, in your local supermarket you will find some little packets of noodles, probably near the afore discussed pot noodle. now these ones are more edible, like batchelors supernoodles, infact yes - look next to them, they'll be from some crazy chinese company and cost about 1000000000 yen which is like 8p in good old english pennies. these are fucking awesome, buy as many as you can carry and a few tins of tuna. mix the two together and voila, noodle tuna. fucking score. cheapest meal you'll ever eat.

next we have corned beef. corned beef is tasty as fuck salty squishy meat surprise. corned beef on bread. corned beef in pasta. corned beef out the tin with a spoon. surprisingly awesome microwaved. again - fucking score.

now; one thing everyone should know - whenever you're about to buy some chicken nuggets or any super processed pre-packaged meat produce be aware that chances are you are eating the scrotums and sphincters of diseased battery mutants. take a trip to the vegetarian section - they have simulated meat products for EXACTLY the same price which taste EXACTLY the same if not better and contain more vitamins and other stuff to keep your shit together and happening. and no gristle. do yourself and countless future 3 legged chickens a favour and go down this road.

finally we have smash, or mr. mash or whatever the cheapest instant mash potato is. mix in any of the above and you have yourself an instant fulfilling meal that you can be proud of, you wont have to do any of this cooking shit, and you'll save yourself an assload of cash.

more to come.

maybe.

[bimboy]

Way too much work !
- you'll end up with less energy than when you started...

What you need it ready-made food
- No cooking.
- No unwrapping.
- No cleaning up.

Fruit, vegetables, nuts, almonds, grapes.
- You can even have sex with some of this stuff !

[Tangerine]

Thanks to you and Anllover and Anne88 and others, this cooking section is now the first one I check here.

So, great geek recipes Prol Chief you're a real "cordon bleu".

But they are a lil bit sophisticated for me, and if I agree with Bimboy on the "no cooking, no unwrapping and no cleaning up" rules, I must say I'd like some warm food too.
So let me propose you my illustrated secret chief Tang french recipe :

"Purée de pomme de terre en flocon à la mode lavabo'"/ "Instant mashed potatoes washbin mode"

1 - Buy on the net or steal at the supermarket an instant mashed potatoes bag.

2 - Pour all the potato flakes into your washbin.

3 - Add warm water with the tap/faucet until the "purée" looks at you taste.

4 - Add salt, pepper, dangerous pyschedelic drugs as usual
and a few drops of your sperm if you need proteins.

5 - Mix with what you want or find.

Dinner is served, Mesdames et Messieurs, bon appetit !
Better smoke a good spliff before IMO

And no need to wash the dish, just pour more water. Easy & clean

Say thanks if you like, my dear gourmet members . (^ ^)

(And if you prefer cold "purée" you can also use your toilet pan for a summertime variation.) Edited July 22, 2007 by Tangerine

[gninori]

another serious forum gone awry

[gninori]

Thanks to you and Anllover and Anne88 and others, this cooking section is now the first one I check here.

by the way, i think that anne88 was a bit different from anne23 but i hope not that different

[Tangerine]

muhaha sorry, mistake ! Just because I just find today my Anna88 VHS with the "Prolapsette au naturel" recipe ! I'll just have to copy it to send to Chief XT now. (^ ^)

[prolaptotron]

another idea:

i have a recycle box in my kitchen where i put things like potato peelings, toilet roll tubes and other biodegradable stuff. some of you guys probably have something like this too, well next time you're hungry and don't have anything good to eat - empty the recycling contents into your food processor and blend into a thick paste. microwave on maximum pain for 5 minutes. voila, recycling soup!

[Tangerine]

Brillliant eco-warrior style !
But speaking of recyclable everyday practices and toilet roll tubes U gave me an idea and some threads here maybe show us the ultimate recipes too. (http://www.rosebuttboard.com/index.php?showtopic=6142&hl=)
At least you'll know who made it, it's free and 100% natural. And some people pay a lot for that. Beauark Bon appétit ! (^ ^)

[LiPnla]

See,i know trick.

Buy some vegetables like blue tomatoes,potatoes,and that green gourdif thats even a thing in English thing,place in oven and bake for a while. It is quick ecofag food you want.

Maybe some chicken white meat/chicken breast on a bit of water/oil in a pan and fry it to go along your veggie goodness.

[gninori]

"ecofag food"