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I can't keep my secrets anymore


Bottomlad
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Hi, I'm totally new to this forum. 

This forum is something I have been looking for a long time, I have never seen myself as gay nor do I fancy men but from a young age I discovered I really liked playing with my asshole. 

I was very shy when I was in my teens and didn't have first gf till I was 16, i new I enjoyed a little anal but I just did it secretly as I was young and embarrassed at the thought of anyone finding out. 

I had collected a few toys to play with around the age of 18 but I got rid of them all in fear of them been found, remember I was young and had no one to open up too. 

I met my now partner of 8 years in 2008, stopped playing around with my ass from 2008 as I was scared to ever mention about my (taboo) to my partner. till like 2011 when I secretly bought a dildo for me to play with while she was out working, I no I did wrong here as I should have told her I enjoy playing with my ass but never had courage. As the years have gone by now 2017 were still together but I have a huge collection of toys hidden in the loft, some very big as u all can imagine. I get a lot of free time as she works nights so I get a lot of time to play. I just love everything about anal sex, I've never been with a male partner or ever cheating on my girlfriend other than with the dildos.

I know she noes that I like anal sex but it's just something we dont talk about, she only brings it up in arguments and I just go quiet till the subject changes, she doesn't have a clue about all the toys I have hidden in the loft. She probably just thinks I like a cock in my arse, when really American bombshell bunker buster is more for me.

I could explain more but basically I'm after advice on how I can break it to my partner on my love for anal sex, at the same time explain that I'm not into men just into there cocks well plastic/rubber/silicone versions of cocks, I want to spend the rest of my life  with my girlfriend but I have a feeling I'm just trying to have my cake and eating it? Any help or advice would be great peeps. Btw I hope my post doesn't offend anyone as I like to think I show love and respect to everyone 

 

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Hi there!

It's really pitiful that there were nobody to respond to some of your problems but also to comfort you.

Anyway I know how it feels to be in the situation like yours. Keep in mind everyone has a kink of their own. People gathered here on this forum like playing with their assholes and this is ok. Prolapsing is welcomed here as well but I don't think it would be advised to tell some random people you have it. I should clear my thought right now :P 

If you love this lady and both of you are open then you should have no problem asking for some of the stuff you like. If she finds it completely unpleasant maybe you shouldn't try it anymore for the sake of your relationship. Some of the girls are stubborn enough to reject every single thing that man wants to do with their body. If one asked a girl if he can put the fist into the girls anus I bet every single one would reject this humble offer. Imo try with massaging her entire body. Try touching her in the places that were unavailable before. Don't speed up the things. Be like the alfa-male but also make her comfortable with these actions. 

I had the same problem because my girl wasn't keen on it. LIKE ENTIRELY NOT. I decided to tell ehr nothing and i just proceeded with gently touching the further parts of her body up to the moment when I reached the ass. Earlier she wouldn't even think about the possibility of such event but the pressure made during sex and passionate feelings from both sides eventually allowed to step further.

Sorry for the poor grammar but english is not my native and I'm suffering terrible migraine atm. Lets us know more about this girl and how are you doing progress. 

Good luck from me!

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Thank you for your reply, 

my girl is totally against anal, she tryed it once and never again sort of thing, I have been reading a lot of what you put on here and your advice is excellent as are many other people on here. 

My problem is not really with her it's me who wants my ass played with but I just think she will never understand, anyways I'm not going to dwell on it I get some me time 2 times a week to play, just would be wonderful if we could go to bed and I could wip one of my dildos out and fuck myself. I just don't think she would ever understand my pleasures. 

Anyways I'm so happy it come across this board, you are all amazing and ur advice is priceless. 

One question I have for yourself busk is once you have fully prolapsed is there no going back? Like will it always come out on demand? and only stay up with surgery?  

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thank you for the advice on my partner I should really try taking things a lot slower with her, Ill try and be slow and gentle more and try make the connection better between us both, and your English is fantastic by the way

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Hmmm. Have you ever tried approaching on her? Maybe try telling her you would totally enjoy the kinky stuff that was shown in a movie I saw some time ago. (There was a scene like that in The Wolf of Wall Street). That wouldn't totally expose you but rather show what you like and what you expect in your sexual life in order to be fully satisfied. :P If she agrees and likes it then you will make progress along with time passing. 

I'm glad to see there people like you. So optimistic and kind... it would be really a shame if your partner wouldn't understand you :X 

About the prolapse - I haven't done that yet but I want to accomplish it. I have a blog on tumblr dedicated to the progress done to the prolapse and judging by its look after 9 months had passed I can say I'm pretty proud of it! :D Some people say that there is moment when the nerves are so damaged that there is point of no going back. That's when the prolapse starts protruding when you are squatting or coughing. In my case the prolapse isn't going anywhere by it's own. I would want to but I have to admit I'm quite afraid what my girl would think about it if she saw it during intercourse :v. Still trying to make it bigger and bigger though! It's extremely pleasurable when it comes to pushing it outside. 

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My wife was uncomfortable with the idea at first but after time she became obsessed. She has purchased larger and larger toys and is trying to make my hole bigger and she wants my prolapse to be huge. She even bought a pump. 

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She started small with strap on and found she enjoyed the control. I showed her videos and she was turned on by size and big prolapse and it just become a must for her. 

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A finger in the butt during a blowjob is a very common thing, and that was the starting point I used with my girlfriend. She was up for trying it out on me and saw how much it turned me on. I told her something like "you can probably go more than one finger". Within a couple weeks my girlfriend was fist fucking my ass. Once you get past the initial conversation it becomes much easier to talk about. After all, you're supposed to be life partners and want to make each other happy and feel good. Our regular sex routine now consists of her giving me a blow job while she also fists my ass. Then she replaces her fist with large butt plug and I fuck her brains out. Just tell her man, life is too short. Get the most out of sex.

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Guest qotsa909

if you love her and trust her then you should be able to find the right moment to broach the subject- I found that my GF was totally up for trying things that would make us BOTH happy- I can't play with my ass anymore as it bleeds too easily but she wants to try anal because she knows I am obsessed with assholes and don't just want to try anal sex as a brief diversion from 'normal' sex

I think we worry about the other persons reaction too much- if, as you say, you want to be with her for ever, then how can you carry on with this huge secret/white elephant in the room? Being open is the only way (and I don't mean open assholes!) and I'm pretty sure that she might be showing her distaste so that she doesn't seem 'pervy' or 'wrong' in agreeing or showing approval but if you can show her just how important assplay is to your future happiness then I'm certain, if she is a good person, that you will be able to explore this area in ways that will satisfy you both, even if it's not in the way you maybe envisioned it

 

You only live once so do try to make this work...

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Great replys people. 

Thank you for all your advice, tbh I hate living with my lie, my gf is wonderful as a person but when it comes to bedroom antics if she ain't drunk it's very vanilla so I'm kinda finding it hard to say the things I like, I'm sorta afraid she will leave me because of it. But I know what I like I'm gunna try to slowly show her this is what I like and it is turkey amazing feeling. I will let you all no go I get on but will be few weeks away while I try to break things up slowly, thanks for all your help guys 

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Drunk only makes a person more comfortable doing something.  If she will do it drunk she may do it sober. She could just be nervous or stuck in taboo and justifies it by being drunk. Take it slow and it will happen. Maybe get her a couple drinks without being drunkto ease her into it.

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Just wanna say that you have to answers these questions:

- Can you live with this as a secret forever?

- Can you live with doing really kinky sex just on your own forever?

- If not... You have to adress it and be prepared to leave. You will fina love again.

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